Ive learnt a few things .....
Ive learnt a few things .....
Hi again everyone ,
So ive a had a few days no contact from my narcissist ex , however i have recieved texts from him - especially one day when i was taking my son out with a male friend and his daughter , even added "love you xx" at the end of them , although i massively wanted to respond i took into account what members have said and done here from thier experiences and didnt. But over the last few days ive realised a few things which were clouded when i was in a "relationship" with him .... and wanted to share ...
Ive realised looking back , that this man has never been able to nail a healthy adult relationship due to his own self centred interests. New years eve his mother was talking about his ex from about ten years ago and cackled as she said "she wanted to move in with you didnt she son" ... i was quite alarmed at how she thought it was funny that person who was unable to show commitment and selfish tendancies towards a girl who was in love with him very strange .... Anyway , she left him and never spoke to him again apparantly ...
It seems his next serious relationship with me , and looking back he roped me in by pretending to be a man that wanted a healthy give and take relationship , my ideal man - with the underlying idea to wait untill i fell in love with him , net me , and manipulate me into accepting a relationship that he was going to mould into something he wanted ...
He never wanted commitment , however fed the line constantly - "i just need time" , then in the next breath - "i could do this long distance relationship forever" (one weekend , once a fortnight) - yet at the sametime , he kept me sweet with gifts and his love , how amazing a person i am ... and made me dependant on that ... aswell as giving false hope he would change .... I now know i dont think he had any intention of changing , this is the relationship HE wanted and he would try any tactic possible to maintain it .... when the pressure was on him by me to start thinking about future plans after 2 years together , thats when the arguements started , he was never wrong , this is him and he wasnt going to change , i had to accept this was him and thats the way he liked it .... but at the time i was already roped in , and thats when i began to question there was something wrong with me after having reiterated constantly to me how amazing he is to me , how great he is compared to my ex's , the things hes bought me , the places he has taken me .....
I now think our whole relationship was based on sex and bed buddies ... I think deep down he knows he could never nail a healthy relationship and preyed on someone soft natured like myself to provide the relationship he wanted ... ive also realised i could have stopped this sex based relationship a year ago when we broke up , rather than accepting as little as bed buddies - and all because i craved for him .... i could have disarmed him then and told him NO .. and stopped my self esteem and respect diminishing then , as well as false hope ... i think the breakup's happened each time i questioned our future as a committed couple , TOGETHER , and it was his tactic of wearing down my resolve for thinking and wanting differently to what he did ... in hindsight , a very cruel and emotionally abusive thing to do to someone who loved him and supported him no end ... i think our bed buddie episode last year was his way of confirming again that he had trapped me back into a relationship under his terms .. and we ended up back together , and when we did get back together i now have a harrowing echoe of something which he MAY have been thinking - which is "and let that be a lesson to you if you ever try and disturb my way of life again" .... i just wanted to share that with you and what i have realised so far , C xxx
confused123
His mother was giving you a
I also noticed from his