We need to Re Focus

I have been looking over some posts and I am deeply concerned and felt the need to respond. It appears that we need to look closer at what NC is and why it is so important to us.

We all know that these people are very sick individuals. We all know that part of their sickness is trolling the net for new supply. We all know the tactics they use to obtain their next victims. This IS what they do. We can not change this as it is the reality of the personality disordered.

Looking at ads they post, emails they send or social network sites is DAMAGING to you. This is the reason we avoid this as much as the Ns themselves. It creates more damage to our already fragile psyche. When you do this it is setting you back by months if not years. It serves no purpose other than to initiate our cognitive dissonance response, get us internally rattled and keeps the obsessional thoughts flowing.

You may think you feel a temporary state of relief in knowing more about them and that you were with such a monster but in reality it is doing the opposite effect to you. It is not validating your reasons for the D&D. It is causing you to keep the focus on them and once exposed to the information you have found, you can not control these obsessive thoughts. You go back to that prison in your own mind about the PDI thus hindering any movement towards recovery. You become your own worse enemy. Your the cause of your own misery, pain and affliction. YOU! By this one simple act. Stop the cycle of madness and Re Focus on you because it is the only way to emotional freedom and recovery from this abusive relationship.

NO CONTACT:

No emails incoming or outgoing. Delete before reading.

No texts incoming or outgoing. Delete before reading.

No phone calls. Block numbers, do not answer, if they use a different number and you do answer,,,HANG UP immediately.

No Facebook, Craigslist, blogger, twitter, Myspace, Dating websites or anything on the internet that he is associated with. Do not look for them on the net. Do not google their name

No talking to friends or family that are associated with them about THEM. Avoid these conversations like the plague.

Delete all information that you have stored on your computer about them. No more saved emails, pics, web address that they are involved in. Everything must go.

This is the first step to re gaining control to your life. They have already taken enough from you. Do not continue to let them take more. Your days of being the whipping post, door mat and slave to the Narcissist are over. You only have one direction that you can go from this point forward. You know my motto and you all know that this is the beginning of the process. Take that step today.

I want to see post about the step your taking towards getting better but this is not the direction I am seeing today.

It begins with the first step. I know its not easy. I was there in your shoes not so long ago. We all were. Remember? No one on this board has a "special situation or circumstance" that would allow them to continue to victimize themselves with continuing this contact. NO ONE. We are all here together because we share this common affiliation. We know the struggles in recovery. We also know what it takes to move on with our lives and recover from this.

I am asking all members tonight to consider where they are at in this process. Are you committed to getting better? Do you want a new life that is free from this self inflicted torture? Sometimes we need to just take action and not give ourselves the time to consider or ponder. We need to trust our friends that love us and know where we are in life. Especially those who have been where we have been. One small leap towards faith that others do know the way to a better existence.

Are you ready to take that step?

Love you
Betty