4 months..NO CONTACT
4 months..NO CONTACT
It has been 4 months today with absolutely no contact on my part. He has not called, or text me, and I have made no contact with him. This is the longest NC in 7 years.
There have been very difficult days when I start to miss him and almost reach for the phone, but I have devised an effective strategy that seems to be working.
This is my own personal 3-step program:
1. In addition to keeping a journal and writing every single awful thing he has ever done, I have also included how bad he made me feel. I have described the pain. Anytime I feel like contacting him I read this and it is a reminder of what will happen to me if I talk to him.
2. I get very, very angry. The sadness I initially felt is gone, and anytime it rears it's head I just revisit the journal so I can get angry again. Anger is a good thing. For a long time I lived in his pretend world and internalized the pain. Now I'm letting it out. Anger prevents me from contacting him.
3. This last step is very important for me and preserves my mental and physical health. I take all the anger I feel and put it in a place where it can not touch my body. I have found holding the anger inside makes me physically ill and have experienced some serious medical problems.
So, to summarize-- write all of it down, everything; read it over and over--esp. during your weak moments; allow yourself to feel the anger; put these feelings in a safe place where they can not harm you.
Things are getting better. I will be strong when he resurfaces... (he always does..)
A fun thing in addition to
Carolyn
Right On!
Okay place Your Bets!!
James--I am the lucky one.
Exactly, Marie
Debra
awesome!
Thanks Barbara..