Real vs. Fake
Real vs. Fake
There has been alot of talk about the false self or the constructed self of the N. Do you actually have a true identity or a internal sense of self. I understand that much of their behavior is done unconcsiously, but in essence, do they have an internal sense of themselves. Do they really have an identity or do they simply wander from host to host mirroring others. For instance, my N had a "confessional" one evening. He broke down and spoke of some childhood abuse and being "different" from other people. He said he knew he had a real problem being close to people, developing real relationships and friendships. There were tears involved and the emotion looked "real" and the pain sounded real. He talked about his mother's abandonment, etc. In fact, he, not surprisingly cited me as the closest person to him in his entire life. He said he knew he needed to heal and had contacted a spiritual healer to help him with the process. He said he would do whatever it took.
I had one foot out of the relationship at this point and made my decision to stay and support his efforts. Yes, not surprisingly, the healing never came and in fact I don't think he ever saw her. He almost acted like he had never said it. Being in the healing profession myself, he probably knew it was music to my ears. I had not put all the pieces together at this point and simply saw him as a wounded soul in need of help and support, with the understanding that it could not be me to do the work with him. Of course, "the closest person to him was discarded 6 wks later", because I was really not what he was looking for. He didn't really want a relationship, never really did. I was placing too many demands.
My question is this. What it a true confessional of sorts. Did he believe at the time or was that simply a manipulative ploy to keep me invested until he no longer needed a feed? What is the true identity of an N and are they aware of how sick they are? Do they indeed know they are different? What emotions do they experience, if any?
Peru
It is a problem not going to
a great answer April
April
Interesting letter, Thanks for sharing
Then god sent James
Perutoo
interesting
He was just playing you to
they know
quietude
Absolutely
Absolutely
template
Yeah my N seems to know.
That;s a good question, April.
April
It's no use asking yourself what was real and what was fake..
this is part of how they do it April
April
Thanks again
April - idea
April