Anger

I am really trying to get over my ex- narc. I am wondering when I will stop thinking about him on a daily basis. I am so angry at him for what he has done.

I was dating him for five years and we were engaged to be married up until it ended. He was internet dating and dating others behind my back.

He started dating a woman 3 days later with two kids!! He has two himself. I am very close with his ex wife and have come to find out that afte ronly four f-ing months he is already talking marriage in front of his two little guys. I feel so bad for them.

His ex has moved on and she is an amazing person although I still think her scars run very deep. We have been very supportive of one another throughout everything.

It makes me sick to think, god I wish Karma would start working.

When I discovered he was cheating online and behind my back although he will deny it without any proof, I just know he was, because he was on three dating websites, I moved to Chicago. I was engaged and was going to make a huge mistake.

I went to NYC to visit friends and do a 20 mile training run for the marathon. I decided I needed closure so I saw him. The scumbag got a phone call while I was talking to him at starbucks from the same woman that sent me a message in february telling me she was f-ing him in those words. Her name was abbreviated so his now girlfriend will not get suspicious!!! from that point when I saw her number and mentioned it to him I shut off all feelings so I thought!!!

The scumbag actually asked me to come over to his apartment after his kids went to sleep on saturday the day before he was leaving on a cruise with his new girlfriend to "TALK" hahaha are you freaking kidding me!!!!

I am angry and worked so hard in the gym and running and at work to get over this. I hate that I think about him. It is a bad day and right before my period but that does take away from the fact that I would love to send the girl he is fucking and his girlfriend an email and inform them about one another. I will not do that, but karma please kick in.

I need to get over this. With my story, I feel I should write a book. He is extremely sick. The things he did to lie to me and his ex wife even are ridiculous. we have thought about partnering up and writing a book. First question Do you think it is a good idea?

Secondly when can I stop feeling the insecent need to send him a cruel message or tell him how much I hate his guts or want to beat the shit out him? I am such a good person and it is not healthy for me to hate someone as much as I do him. Hate is such a strong word and I never use it unless I really mean in. Just like Love, except love is so much better!!!