he's moving back in in a week :(

Let him say what he likes , so what he fucking says . I was scared of my narc for so long , its because that was how he wanted me to feel , he beat me too and did such a number on my brain there was a time when he said jump i asked how high . .... what can i say to you ? it goes away , fuck what he wants , im telling you now when you finaly say NO it feels so good , it takes it out of you im not going to lie and all sorts of fears come up ... but if you can do it , then for god sake do it . Just say no , pratice it no no no no .. my saying was "not now ,not ever " When i think of the day he went for me and hurt me i cant tell you the feelings it brings up , here was someone i thought was my best friend , my only one that would always be there for me no matter what , you know all i was asking him for was a cuddle when he atacked me , i wanted to get through to him when he had switched off and turned his back to me , i just wanted him to turn round and hold me like he did every night and he flew at me shouting and punching ..... god .... to think about it how i feel so unprotected so indignant , so belittled and humilated so sad ... how dare i ask my love to show me love ... it takes a while to let the logic take over the emotion ... how fucking dare he lay his hands on me , the cock sucker was fucking lucky i didnt call the police ... remember that night ... i will NEVER forget it .. after he beat me i shook for about an hour , my head spinning ... you know all i wanted to do at that point was to go to him and try and make everything alright with him , i was so fucking supressed i thought if i can make this ok then life will go back to normal .....It took me 4 week for it to sink in and the anger to surface ... about a week after when the bruises where still there big time i remember standing naked in my bedroom and he was in bed and it was the first time i realy let me look at me after the event , he got out of bed and came over and turned me around and kissed me on the brusis ..... i thought at that point he showed remorce , i thought at that point he would change , but 2 weeks later he was screaming at me " if you are pregnant its youre fault , you slept with me , i dont care about youre problems fuck off and take youre shit with you ".... i dont know the point to this .. im crying now .....it sucks , i know xxx

Isn't couch surfing better that being abused? If you have friends who are supportive, who understand your position--that could possibly give you the leg up you need to become self-sufficient. Then you could just tell him to take a flying leap into the Rio Grande......... Or, is there a DV shelter in the city you could go to?

one thing i have learned about narcs, if you go back they think you liked it... if you live with him again it will happen again...thats why their abuse gets worse when we go back... they step it up b/c they think no matter what i do to her she comes back for more.... and realy if you think about it that way, when i got my husband out then divorced him... in affect i was saying i dont like the way you treat me.... if i had gone back with him..never never!!!..... i would have been saying i am ok about how you treated me and he would have upped the ante...b/c i knew all this when i kept going back to narc so i was enabling his behavior..specially he told me himself... if the silly sluts[as he called his women] come back they must love it.... i got out and stayed out cos this silly slut didnt like it...

Do you have any family help for money,something that can help you along so you dont need to depend on him..Yes the emotional abuse hurts alot..It's hard to fight back,but be it be known if he ever put his hands on me he'd get his behind beat,by me or the men in my family..I wouldnt tell them about the words heused because they would also want to confront him..I really think you should rethink this bigtime...Here I am thinking of "unblocking" him on facebook to see if he has "changed" yeah right,I couldnt see him next to me,how will you live this way???Are you planning on getting into couples counseling and him getting help? If not,thsi is no way to go..even with all that stuff...Please don't do it.