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So that's what on the DL means :P My Narc never had this, that I knew of anyway. Sex for Narcs and sociopaths is just masturbation while using another person as a kleenex. From that point of view, any sex is perverted. It's secondary with WHOM they are getting the sexual stimulation. It's all masturbation and stimulation so they can get their rocks off. I don't believe that sex with a same sex person necessarily means you are bisexual or a latent homosexual. Things happen, you know :P? But that's just my personal take. Another part of my personal take is that homosexuality is a valid and respectable relationship and calling a Narc who'd getting his rocks off with another man "homosexuality" is disrespectful to true homosexuality. It has NOTHING to do with homosexuality because homosexual relationships aren't just about the homosexual sex act. It is about primary bonding relationships. It's OK, IMHO, to discuss this matter of our Narcs being pervs. I have a responsibility to ALL victims of Narcs to stick my nosey nose into this kind of discussion in defense of the valid and true homosexual bonding, which has NOTHING to do with a perving Narc getting his rocks off. ((( steps down from the soapbox ))) As you were :P

I was utterly convinced that my narc was gay until I found out about the OW. He spent an awful lot of time with his best guy friend and always talked about how his friend's wife wouldn't sleep with him anymore. He always used to kiss his guy friends on the lips and make big shows of affection as a "joke" and always made fun of things like clothes or whatever that his friends were wearing, saying they were gay. He also always used to be picked up in cars with tinted windows and it was a big secret where they went. I think mine just loved anything secret, anything deviant, anything for attention, anything that smacked of clebrity and rule breaking. I just don't know.

A lot of the ladies here were warned against the Narc/Psych by ex-wives/ex-girlfriends. In my case, it was ANOTHER MAN who warned me against the ex-P. I think they had a brief liaison... and it ended disastrously. It wasn't a former girlfriend saying that the ex-P was bad news, but a former boyfriend. I once read about a pastor who advises gays to NOT "come out"-I find that extremely disingenuous and hurtful. Wouldn't that encourage men to play it straight with the women in their lives, when they're really sleeping around with other men? It simply opens the door for dishonesty and abuse.

I think you hit the nail right on the head with this one. I thought mine might be gay when we reconnected. These Narcs are really F@&$ed up. They have moe problems then I care to deal with. Why was I in love with this guy? Good bye, loser! Idealk

Prior to my finding the text message, his "VERY GAY" friend was riding in the backseat of his minivan. I need to add, that on THREE occasions I've asked for the nature of their relationship, how they met, etc and I've gotten THREE different stories!!! WTH?...well, I think I may very well have my answer as I just remembered the other day, before I found the very telling text message where he said to the gay guy: "I guess I must realize we are officially divorced, sorry for any grief or confusion I may have caused you but it is easier to jet than to stick and stay for whatever reason...I'm on a different journey my friend"...well, short of sitting between his testicals and the dudes buttcrack, I can't imagine what other clue I'd need BUT, they are sooooooo good at diffusing reality!...I just remembered, that guy sat in the back of the van and "jokingly" said IN MY PRESENCE..."When people ask me how "NARC" and I met, I tell them, when I first laid eyes on him, I knew he was gonna be the father of my babies!...EWWWWWWW and the friggin Narc, said NOTHING!!! I have nothing against gay people...my issue is with those who lead double lives and deceive. So...I'm pretty sure I have my answer, but anyone else care to give some input as to what other explanation there might be? I might add, it was a very humbling experience to have to go get an AIDS test, and still know that you could still be infected even with a negative result because it can lie DORMANT for ten years. I swear I hate that man...I really do and wish him every evil. He is either bi-sexual or a sex addict or both...some of the things I found when he was targeting the woman was downright scary... Now that I think about it, I think he is a Psychopath and not just a narcissist...there is a darkness and an evil that I did not see until the bitter end. Stalking that woman...calls about 35 in one day spaced about every 20 minutes apart...that's not normal... And to think If I got one a day I was lucky... Glad I'm getting NONE today...

Hey girly, First off, tell me how to contact Betty2020 again please. My internet crashed again last night, plus i just got new job and i just crashed along with it. But i do want to talk to you one on one, besides being a laughfest i'm sure ill learn some important things from my new friend OK your question - My NARC "hinted" when we got together that "sex" wasn't everything. At our most "hot and heavy" we did it maybe once every other day (and no offense, but it wasnt the "full out SLAM FEST" i was used to with the OTHER narc (who i recently found out WHILE researching this "disease" was the SEXUAL kind, although mine didn't cheat on ,me) AND the newest ex narc liked to do it in the b*tt (sorry, its just relavent to the story maybe) and that was OK but it was the AFFECTION i fell in love with - the cuddles the understanding. Anyway, down the road - the sex dropped off, the affection then dwindled and the resentment of me started - you know, ALL those qualities you yearn for in a guy APPEARED - neglect, "pecks: on the cheek and subtle putdowns During this time I started finding escort emails, texts from SORRY, "really questionable girls" - not MY judgement but the kind HE USED TO PUT DOWN? He also got texts like, "This guy don't know how to f**K, get me OUT OF HERE", and when i looked up the number on phonewhois (Great free program by the way) it was listed as being a man's phone. EPIPHANY! Maybe THAT'S why he felt the need to brag about his WOMEN conquests to EVERYONOE and the need he felt to GO OUT AND DO IT? To convince himself? I know he as molested by a step father and that he really hates his mother - stuff he wont admit to himself......(But his sister told me, she was molested byu him too) LML

The ex-Psych professor came across as incredibly gay. From the get-go, he gave the impression as a gay man. He dressed in a masculine way, had a crew cut... but he had a lisp and effeminate mannerisms. His BIGGEST detractor, the one who warned me the most about him (and was quite angry with him),was an openly gay professor. I got D&D'd for a very masculine woman. The ex-P would talk about how he hated gays... but he certainly did act like one!

I dont think just because they lose interest in us sexually they are gay or bisexual, they have such deep rooted sexual problems that I cant even begin to figure them out. They are serial cheaters and that tells me they will never be content with one sexual partner. If they do experiment around with bisexuality its because it is different and like mine the sicker the better for him to get off

Mine wasn't gay but when we were out for drinks one night with a gay friend of mine, he (the N) expressed great enthusiasm for going with him to a gay bar later on. We didn't, in the end, but only because it was a private function.

My ex's mom left him when he was 10,she took her older children from a previous relationship,and moved out of state with her lover....I think he subconsciously hated his mom so much,that it has turned into a complete hatred toward all women....as for the gay stuff.....i would bet every dollar i have that me ex has sex with men,i could have pics of him in the act and he'd tell people i'm lying and i'm 'crazy'.....it makes me want to puke when i think about it:(