Bad day

I'm having a really bad day... It's day 4 of NC and I woke up feeling anxious and with this awful, empty feeling in my gut - and heart. Today I feel like maybe he was right, maybe I did mess up everything. And I'm trying really, really hard to remember the bad stuff, today it feels like maybe it wasn't so bad, maybe I imagined it all. So I've been sitting here all morning trying to remember the bad, so I can be motivated to not contact him. Well I came up with a few things that probably are red flags, but all in all I just remember saying "don't be so rude to me" all the time, and him mocking me then.

1.Before we got together and were still friends he said “I don’t make love, I fuck.”
2.We live in a really small town: “If someone like ME had to break up a marriage to get a girlfriend, there’s no way your ex will ever find a girlfriend here!” Fyi he didn’t break up my marriage, though he likes to think so when it suits him. But don’t dare to ever blame him! (sarcasm…)
3.He got irritated it when I bought microwave popcorn when he said I ‘always’ complain about how little money I have (how absurd). Then he lost it when I responded “No man will tell me how to spend my money.”
4.I did a silly ‘genius test’ online, some forward from a friend. I scored high enough to be qualified as a genius, of course it’s just a joke. Big mistake telling him, after that he constantly brought up that “she’s a genius, oooh,” being very sarcastic.
5.He said he only goes to his family (whom he all hates for no reason) to visit his sister’s boy. He showers him with gifts and seeing as the boy is 3 years old, of course thinks the world of him!
6.Regarding sex: “You’re so lucky, I am going to teach you things to use with your next boyfriend.” Firstly, get over yourself. Secondly, who the hell ‘encourages’ his current girlfriend to get a next boyfriend???
7.“I’m really good with women, I’ve had so many relationships.” Uhm, the fact that you had so many would indicate you’re – maybe – not so good with women?
8.And the one I strangely remembered today for the first time… He has memory problems, well according to him. So after this long story of tests he had done blah blah, I responded like any normal person with empathy and sympathy, saying that must be hard to live with. His response (something changed with his face too): “Nothing you or anyone say can ever hurt me.” I asked him “What the hell was that???” What a bizarre response, and so out of context! He just gave me a funny look and continued like nothing happened. This was week one...

Maybe a few of these things sound familiar to some of you? I am really doubting myself at the moment.