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Funny update

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#1 Aug 9 - 12AM
girlfriday
girlfriday's picture

Funny update

So I haven't answered his phone calls (or texts or emails) for 3 days.
Today I get a text that says, "I'll be home tomorrow afternoon if you want to talk."

Um, if I wanted to talk, I would have answered one of those 17 phone calls. He's normally brilliant. I swear.

Aug 9 - 11AM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Woo hoo, congrats on 3 days!!!

Too funny!!! God bless, Goldie
Aug 9 - 11AM
lynn61
lynn61's picture

girlfriday

i just about died when i read your message!! after i left my husband of 28 years 8 months ago because of his latest mistress he would send me texts that were almost verbatim what yours said: "i'm going to be popping some corn tonight and watching a movie if you care to join me". no kidding! and he sent exactly 3 of those during an 8 month period and said he had "done everything he could to talk to me and get back together and i wouldn't even respond". it blows my mind how unoriginal they are, really??

really??

Aug 9 - 8AM
NinjaGirl
NinjaGirl's picture

LOL. Ok, that actually made

LOL. Ok, that actually made me laugh. Brilliant post!
Aug 9 - 8AM
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

If that doesn't work try this!

Love how they try all kinds of approaches to see what works. What do you think will be next? Petulant? Pissed off? Resigned? Patronizing? I got 'em all :) Good for you for 3 days of NC! See how fast the balance of power moves when you say nothing?
Aug 9 - 11AM (Reply to #5)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Exactly Wholeagain

While he has been in jail before I stopped the letters. I got everything from, I now have a tattoo of you on my chest which will spoil me for all other women to: well, then I guess you can council me with my new girlfriends and if when I get out I have someone new (or already does in jail, LOL), I will leave them to come back to my one true love and then my entire name spelled out. Oh o.k. am I on drugs or do those sound like two different things? The love poems, the let's just have an open relationship. I want to spend my life with you. I could never love another, I am your man forever. All this within a short span. WTF, does he have any true thoughts or emotions? NOT NOT NOT!! God bless, Goldie
Aug 10 - 1AM (Reply to #15)
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

Goldie

All your life, when you were a little girl....I'm sure you, like all of us, dreamed that one day we would marry an ex-inmate and live happily ever after, right??? NOT!!!!! Your Narc has lost his mind! Talk about "having baggage!"
Aug 9 - 12PM (Reply to #6)
Used
Used's picture

promises

i have all my exh letter,s from his prison day,s i read them ,some make me cry, some make me laugh, but the one,s with the promises are hilarious, when i come out i will get 3 job,s you and kids will never go without again[he didnt] i will never hit you again, even if i have to hit an innocent passerby[he did, hit me again]and i have worked it out i can get 5 visits in this month, i had little kids and no money or transport, i had to rely on people to take us. oh and can you bring my golf club, and golf glove,and some tobacca and money, i am running low, and i did it, he had one tattoo with my name on it, he said i marked for life now the police know its there, well far as i know its still there, i left my mark,as he left his. these letter,s span 30 years, and i believe every line, even the faboulous drawing,s in the letter,s i believed he had learned to draw in prison, no of course not,silly me, i wondered why when he got out nhe said no i dont want to draw anymore, it reminds me of the nick. yeah right.
Aug 10 - 4AM (Reply to #14)
naivenomore
naivenomore's picture

LMAO!

"i will never hit you again, even if i have to hit an innocent passerby" Me too, I can't stop laughing here! Oh my God, what an absolute sicko! This one tops my funnies list - thanks for sharing, but so sorry you had to endure this nut case ;-(
Aug 10 - 4AM (Reply to #13)
naivenomore
naivenomore's picture

LMAO!

"i will never hit you again, even if i have to hit an innocent passerby" Me too, I can't stop laughing here! Oh my God, what an absolute sicko! This one tops my funnies list - thanks for sharing, but so sorry you had to endure this nut case ;-(
Aug 9 - 12PM (Reply to #7)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Stop, I can't stop laughing.

I need to catch my breath, "I will hit an innocent passerby, before I hit you." Wow, they can have golf clubs in jail, not in this state they can't. Sounds like a country club. Some of these guys love jail, they can play the big man on campus and they are surrounded by other narcs and antisocials. They just learn more manipulative tactics while in jail. They are in their element. We just represent supply to them while they are in jail, money, visits ect...I did not give him a dime or visit him once. I did take his collect calls the first time, not this time though, learned my lesson. I got, the I will fix all the holes in the wall when I get out, take care of you, make love to you like a real man makes love to a women, never hit you again, be your mushball and love you so much you will hate it, never do another drug or alcohol, love you and only you until the day I die, I have found the Lord and will go to church and homegroup every week, I never loved any other women on this planet except you, never cheated on you, will never leave you, the others, don't get me wrong, I liked them lot but never loved, you are my one true love, I am your man forever...oh it goes on and on. He was in the first time for 40 days and when he got out after a few days he was right back to his old ways, but by then I had 40 days without him under my belt and I was so done and sick of him and when he would talk I just tuned him out. We went out to do Karaoke and he started insulting me and I looked him square in the eyes and said, I don't know what to tell you but: People like me, I am a good singer and you are just jealous, and I hope you find a new place to live soon because I AM SO SICK OF YOU, YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW!!!! He got drunk as a skunk that night. Danced for the first time with me and was a crappy dancer even though he told me for months how great he was (said he was just shy). He puked all over my car all over the house and passed out. A couple of hours later he woke up practically forced me to have sex, assaulted me, insulted me, and was hauled out once and for all by the police. He got 15 months in jail which does not mean much in this state because they all get out early. He could be out by Christmas. He of course does not know how much work I have been doing on myself through this site and other things. He will no longer recognize me if he ever has the balls to show up here again. The old Goldie is gone. She no longer exists. There is no room in my life today for an immature, freeloading, abusive, drug addicted, lying, cheating, using, sack of shit. Do I hear a big AMEN brothers and sisters!!!! God bless, Goldie
Aug 12 - 10AM (Reply to #12)
Used
Used's picture

goldie

he was in an open prison in the end,you can get this in england after serving time in closed prison, cos he was such a good boy in there [closed prison] in open prison, he not only played golf, it was football cricket, he even[wait for it had a perm] it was the 70,s then, he told me when he was bored he would sit under a tree and have a sleep[ no change there] when he wanted money, the prison didnt know, i got an adress of where he was on day work at a screws house[prison officier] doin the garden i had to leave the money in a newspaper under the screws childs bike, i cant believe as i am writing this, what shit i stood for, and the money was all the money i got off the state for that week, i hope no one takes offence at this next bit, but when he said about hitting someone else in stead of me[ i imagined in my madness] an old person, walking there dog one day and that raving lunitic appearing, hitting them, and saying to them, thats for my wife, no wonder i was always medicated up. that was a defining time for me tho, the first time he went to prison, we had only been married 6 months, and i missed him[dont know why he made me live with his family[that should of been a clue] and i was pregnant, but the second time he went ,by then we had 3 kid,s and a home, while he was away, was when i relized, i liked the routine ,i like just me and kids, and i liked bieng away from him, but i still had a nother 20 0dd years yet of my own sentance too do, sorry this is so long, but its like i look back on this person[me] and think what was i doing. oh well out now.
Aug 10 - 12AM (Reply to #11)
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

And all of God's people said

AMEN!
Aug 10 - 12AM (Reply to #10)
girlfriday
girlfriday's picture

Amen, Goldie! Going through

Amen, Goldie! Going through what we've all gone through is really transformational. I think I am better and stronger than I ever was. Sounds like you are too!!! So at least *something* good came out of it!
Aug 9 - 1PM (Reply to #9)
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

Amen

New Goldie!
Aug 9 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

AMEN sister.

AMEN sister.

almostlydia

Aug 9 - 12AM
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

Good for you. This from the

Good for you. This from the man that gives you 'blueballs':) If you can't resist the opportunity to finally torment the tormentor, and damn it's hard, remember short and sweet, 'K'. Nothing more.

almostlydia

Aug 10 - 12AM (Reply to #3)
girlfriday
girlfriday's picture

Thanks :-) I must remember

Thanks :-) I must remember that this is the only way to torment the tormentor. So glad he'll be across the country all fall! I just think the distance makes things easier. It's part of it, anyway. But I know the real distance has to come from inside.
Aug 9 - 12AM
broken23
broken23's picture

:) youre so lucky!

:) youre so lucky!