I need support

I'm sorry I'm so behind on the board. I'm just catching up and read this. My blood is boiling right now. What a complete ass. I'm so sorry he did this to you, but like everyone said, do not react to it. That's exactly what he wants you to do is react. They will stop at nothing to get us to react. Screw him! He will look like the idiot in the end. The truth always prevails! You don't need to do a thing. Just sit back and watch him unravel. He will. xoxo

Dont p/u the phone....screw whatever he says..who cares leave him in the past...."Dont worry about the people that didnt make it to ur future, there is a reason for it"!! Scoop, just let it go..u r better than that!!! Lets all leave these assholes in the past!!! xoxoxo

Scoop- Dont do it! I know that you want to! I want to run around and tell everyone what he is saying is lies. Trust me I do! But if we go around putting out all of the fires that he started we will be exhausted at the end of the day. We will also be no better than him and it will start the "he said she said" game. In time if you just sit still and dont go running around please will realize that he is the crazy one. They will see that he was the one talking badly about you while you sat there with your mouth shut.

Mine actually told people I wasn't pregnant I had just gotten fat while with him . I got to walk around every day and look at him knowing what he was telling people while I just got bigger and bigger from baby . They are all horrible people.

Don't worry about what he says or what people think. N's eventually show their arse to everyone. Just know that you are capable of being happy and healthly, while he will dye a lonely old man.

The "lost in la la land" look. Oh, yeah, I know I had it for MONTHS and new GF has it now. Deep breath about his maligning your name. Hold your head high and no comment (you can do it). You come through looking like the calm, class act and him like a cheap, gossiping creep. OM. Peace. J

LOL you are so clear honey ((((hugs)))). Pissed off royally, but clear :) His poor new victim won't look smug for long. We can't ever, ever control what comes out of the Narc's mouth. Lord knows what else he's said that you don't even know about. Much worse could be coming out of his mouth. That's the truth. When I got rid of my Narc, we lived in a town of 300 people up a switchback mountain grade that isolated the town for about six months of the year due to heavy snow. If the people in the town were not genetically inbred (they were) they were EMOTIONALLY inbred. And hungry for gossip. When I got rid of my Narc I made him homeless. He already knew everyone anyway. And lots of stories got back to me. They were horrifying. Then I realized there MUST have been stories he was telling that they were too embarassed to tell me about. I hid in the cabin for a few months and went out for bare necessities because I forced myself to. I'll never forget how utterly exposed I felt. It was Hell. Every eyeball that landed on me potentially knew some lie about me I could not imagine. It was so awful that I kind of snapped. It was Hell, alright, but what I realized was I had NO CONTROL. NONE. ZIPPO. I've read that in self help books my entire life. What someone else thinks of you is none of your business. WHat?? Well, in that inbred little town I GOT IT. Either that, or truly go insane and become the raging bitch/hag that he probably told them all about. I have no control over the words that come out of someone else's mouth. I have no control over what people think of me. Conversely, THEY have no control over what I think of them. No one forces me to come to certain conclusions about them. I just do. And the same goes for them. Does that make sense? Nope, I never did get to the point I just held up my head proudly. I fled that inbred little den of weirdos. I had to go into hiding my my exN anyway :( . What you are feeling right now is the beginning of one of the most powerful lessons of maturity you can ever have :) It will make you SO strong. To realize you are powerless to control what other people think of you. Because what happens, when you realize that, is that you begin to rely on YOURSELF to define who you are. And when that begins to happen, people can think you are a herpetic desperate baby mama skank and you won't care. You know better, and you know that if they DO think this of you, you wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire. Good luck navigating this "lesson" :) It is a good one, and you are already clear as a bell. Go for it!

Yep, it sucks doesn't it?! They have a wierd need to tell people that don't even need to know what "pain" they are going through to drum up new supply. Women that my N hadn't even dated yet (that he maybe exchanged 3 emails with) already knew my story...... But you know what that made me realize???? How pathetic his search for attention was. He is afraid that he can't secure new supply on his own merits. He has to bring all of these props with him to secure new supply....all of the whoa is me, I'm such a great guy and look what happened to me because I am so good. A normal guy, with normal character, with normal self esteem would not to stoop to this level to do this because he could stand on his own two feet and his actions would speak to his character. Think about all of what our Ns threw away, just on the outside hope that this new woman is the one he has been waiting for???? Mine threw away a 23 year close relationship with someone who was always there for him, and kept him employed.....on the very, very, very, very remote chance that this woman would finally turn out to be THE ONE! And SHE WASN'T EVEN CUTE!!!@!!!!!!!!! Or nearly the person I am (sorry how that sounds!) And guess what - they had one date and it was over. Wasn't really worth throwing out 23 years of supply and employment was it????? (oh, but I failed to tell you...the fact that he had to tell this woman everything about me was of course all my fault)

Been there. He pulled away for the airport to go to Las Vegas with his brothers telling them I wasn't really pregnant while I was miscarrying all over the bathroom floor. They are so, so sweet. Scoop, you could not possibly have been pregnant, because that would be real and he cannot deal with that.

doesnt matter what he says. he has to look like he was the amazing guy and you are crazy. that is what they all do. its just your word against his...why put your effort into that. sooner or later she is going to find out just what a whackjob she is. do something for yourself and leave that loser be....or you would say wanker:)

Those who matter won't care what this bastard has to say! Those who care, don't matter. And as for that smug look on the OW face... trust me, once he dumps her and treats her like he did you, her face will fall flat on the floor! That's what happened to the OW in my office when my ex-N pulled the D&D with her! She was so devastated, not knowing anything about Narcs, she resigned after a few months of running on the hamster wheel of trying to get the N back! I feel sorry for her but there is nothing I look forward to more than NOT having to see her face, even though I know she is a victim as well. Nothing hurt more than her smug face and attitude when she thought she was THE ONE. Don't pick up the phone unless it's to talk to your true friends. People will think what they want. Those who judge you will most likely get a taste of the Narc in time!

The people who are worth it don't believe his crap. The people who aren't worth it won't believe what you have to say anyway. You know the truth. I know it's hard, because it's your integrity that's at stake, but let it go. If people are truly your friends, they'll ask you about it, and then you can tell them the truth. So yeah, f*ck 'em. It doesn't matter what they or anyone else thinks.