What i got from this article was that everyone has to come to terms with No Contact on their own. We can and do say NC, NC, NC because eventually that is the only way. We know that but it is because we have already gone thru it all to get there. The fact is that everyone has to reach that conclusion on their own in order to succeed. I know i intended NC many times but was not absolute enough to follow thru until finally I was. Look at how many here break NC and then feel horribly guilty about it and then come back more resolved the next time. We were all brainwashed well enough that people yelling NC at the top of their lungs quite often does not make a difference until we have reached that place of 'yes, this is the only way'. It is exactly the same for any addiction. I don't care how many times well meaning people ask you stop smoking, it isn't going to happen until YOU want it without doubt.
There is no magic pill here. Ending any addiction is a horrendous undertaking that requires an absolute determination based upon an absolute conclusion made by YOU, NOT for you by others.
Well I agree with you in part, but at the same time, no one tells an alcoholic they can drink a little if they want. No, they won't stop until THEY are ready, but the message to stop doesn't change. I don't think it's wrong to keep on telling people over and over about no contact, because it's necessary to REVERSE the brainwashing people get at the hands of the narc, the slow and steady drip of poison from them. Hearing the NC message repeatedly, ALONG WITH the miserable experiences one gets from going BACK to contact, eventually seeps its way in as what's necessary to actually heal.
And one thing is for sure... cigarettes, alcohol and drugs are dangerous and addictive. But at least those are inanimate objects and it isn't personal to a cigarette. Narcissists harm you ON PURPOSE, have the ability to talk to you and manipulate you, and it is imperative that victims get AWAY from them.
A decade ago, I really didn't get what was going on. My friend diagnosed my ex-P professor as narcissistic, but my mother was more precise--he was a psychopath. Worse than a narcissist.
I really didn't get what I was going through. It was shocking, numbing, I was crying myself to sleep, isolating myself, wondering why he showed neither remorse nor feelings.
I mainly went NC on account of the fiancee... and my friends and I were concerned about my safety. When he sabotaged my teacher education program, they asked if he had my phone number or address. I said no.
I went NC because I was afraid of what he was capable of doing.
I am somewhat in the same position as you. I blocked him last week so that he can not text me. HOwever I can still text him. Yesterday I just heard more and more lies that he is telling and I got fed up. I text him "N stop lying to everyone. Im getting sick of hearing about it" I didnt unblock him so I have no idea what he said back but I did contact him....
dont let yesterday take up too much of today
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"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
NC article
almostlydia
Well I agree with you in
If only this site existed a decade ago...
rhiannon
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"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
Excellent point, NinjaGirl!
Well