The email my ex-N sent me last Monday

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Jun 27 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
NinjaGirl
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I know, right?

And he acts like he's soooo in tune with the world. Want to know his routine? He wakes up and eats breakfast. He goes to work, spends half the day screwing around and writing stories about ideal relationships where the woman is always perfect, and so is the man (of course), and he complains about how he didn't sleep well the night before. He eats the same thing every day for lunch. He goes home, puts away the laundry his mom washed and folded for him (he's 31 and lives with her, and she is neither invalid nor in need of money), eats dinner with her, goes for a walk with her, and then goes into his basement and either plans out his next roleplaying session or plays video games. He also looks at a lot of transgender sites. Before going to bed he reads a graphic novel. He never actually wants to go do things, experience new things, anything. He eats the same few foods, and never tries anything new. Yeah, he is SO in touch with the world. He never wants to travel unless his friends do it and he wants to get their attention, and even then he complains about it because he hates travel, he never does anything charitable, such as donating money or time or anything to anyone, and yet he's so connected with everything because he can drive in his car with the windows down and the music blaring? Whatever.
Jun 27 - 12PM (Reply to #11)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Peter Pan Syndrome

A year after the D&D.... I found out that not only had my ex-P and the OW had tied the knot, but they had had kids. I also read that his parents were living with him, and raising his kids. His father had to sacrifice his research, and his prestigious professorship. Yep, his parents are living with him and raising his children. As I joked to a friend at the time "it's a good thing they're raising him." My ex-P seemed to have Peter Pan Syndrome. There was something very childish about him. He was at his happiest when the male students in my freshman lab class played keep away with his beret (my therapist finds this VERY VERY strange behavior for a thirtysomething) He was a big fan of The Simpsons and the Terminator movies. A LOT of the behaviors of Peter Pan Syndrome are common with psychopaths and narcissists. When I was with my ex-P,I felt like I was babysitting a man old enough to be my father (he was 15 years older)
Jun 27 - 10AM (Reply to #8)
Allie
Allie's picture

That line in the email made me lol...

He pities others who can't feel that way....windows down, driving fast in the middle of the night, music loud....sh*t, I did that last night! I notice N's always think the rest of us are pitiful or pathetic in one way or another, lol. My N also said I had "fear" and that I needed to overcome it...what he really meant was that I had a conscience, and I needed to lose it so he could bang me, lol. He never had that same fear, or was able to overcome it at least 4 times to cheat on his wife. He basically lives like a single man, even though he's been married for 14 years. When I couldn't get over my "fear" and begin a physical affair with him, he quickly D&D'd me and moved on.
Jun 27 - 10AM (Reply to #9)
NinjaGirl
NinjaGirl's picture

Allie

LOL I hope you know how in touch you were with the entire world when you were driving last night. Thank you for the laugh. God, these men are so TOXIC. Yours is worse than mine, I think.
Jun 27 - 10AM (Reply to #10)
Allie
Allie's picture

Lmao!

Yeah, I was listening to Led Zeppelin really loud...I was enlightened, lol! So toxic, my narc was already bad when he was 15 (the first time I met him) but to see him now as a 42 year old married man with kids...and see what he is capable of, I truly believe he is a psychopath, he has ALL the red flags.
Jun 27 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

NinjaGirl

Feeling you girlfriend . I swear to you their condescension dose something to youre soul , the anger the injustice it is eating me up at the moment , proberly because i had a run in with him on friday and it reminded me what an arrogent pig he is . One day he will end up having a knife in his back ... he will pick the wrong person to fuck with , he is getting worst with age .
Jun 27 - 10AM (Reply to #4)
NinjaGirl
NinjaGirl's picture

I really hope

That they get what's coming to them. Of course, then the poor dears will be just that more victimized, because nothing's ever their fault, right? Stupid idiots. It goes against my nature to wish anyone specific harm, but I certainly won't be shedding many tears if karma kicks them in the face.
Jun 27 - 11AM (Reply to #5)
Janet
Janet's picture

Man oh man. What a

Man oh man. What a narcissist. This letter is SOOOOO like the one I received in November after being treated worse and worse and I had just written him a letter explaining my shortcomings. Written from "on high". Well, they sound a lot alike and the N I was with at replaced me about 2 weeks later (they are still living together as she moved in almost immediately). He said he was though and he was. As you said, it is a relief. However, the amount of continual abuse we had to endure takes a lot of recovery and highs and lows. Be very good to yourself. He is an a pompous ass (I know one just like him in CA). Peace. J

Peace. J

Jun 27 - 11AM (Reply to #6)
Janet
Janet's picture

One more thing: The "it's

One more thing: The "it's been brutal" part....exact same thing in the letter N sent me in response to my "shortcomings" letter. He was the cause of so much agony and turmoil and he wrote "Just another brutal day, in a brutal week in a brutal year. But, I'm going to be okay". Oh, well now I can breath a sigh of relief. They are so self centered it is mind boggling. Peace. J

Peace. J

Jun 27 - 11AM (Reply to #7)
NinjaGirl
NinjaGirl's picture

LOL

Ok, that made me laugh. Yeah, isn't it good to know that they're going to be ok despite the slings and arrows of life, despite their purity and connection to the world? I'm so glad he's going to be ok. *rolling my eyes* I guess it's better than hearing that he's weeping tears of pity for me every night. You know what the kicker is? I know this sounds arrogant, but I outclass him in almost every way. I make almost twice what he makes, have a better education, have a career in my field, have lots of interests besides just video games and whatnot, give to charity, etc. And he's the great one? Oh please, whatever. He's so smug. And he never says anything original. Everything he says is either a cliche or a quote. I always wondered why that was, and now I realize it's because he has no empathy and no idea how to actually speak to people unless he's talking about himself.