Update

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#1 Jun 17 - 9PM
sanctuary
sanctuary's picture

Update

For those of you who might still be here or check in every so often, I wanted to post an update about my long awaited meeting and hearing.

Before I forget, if any one wishes to keep in contact outside this site, Lisa or whomever has my permission to give my email.

Not going to into too much detail. I spent most of today just recuperating from the last few weeks of prepping and stressing.

The meeting with the Psych evaluator went well. He said there nothing wrong with my daughter and I was not alienating her. He said forcing her back to ExN would be disastrous. He suggested we pick one issue between ExN and I and work on it with the help of a third party. (We all know how well that would work!)

ExN didn't like to find out he wasn't going to get what he wanted. Lots of drama, him crying, saying he just wanted it to be over, he didn't care any more, blah blah puke puke!

My daughter's attorney said she wanted to talk to him with his attorney so the rest of us left.

We get an 11th hour offer to settle at 7:30 PM, the night before the hearing. Basically out of the blue he's offering to give me FULL LEGAL & PHYSICAL CUSTODY!! There are of course several conditions!!

We go to the hearing the next day and ask the judge to see if we can reach an agreement. Two hours later we do and it's done. The asswipe gives up his right to his daughter to me, in return I agree to accept about half of the support I should be getting. More tears and drama. I had to sit there and pretend I cared so the judge wouldn't refuse the agreement.

For all intents and purposes the wanker (to quote a friend)sold his daughter. I more or less bought her freedom. And with her freedom comes mine. He can request to see her once a month via email and she can go or decline as she chooses. She has some time set aside to visit the paternal grandparents as well; which he or they have to pay for. Everything else is up to me.

To him, as with all N/S/P's, it was all about money and control. He'd rather pay an attorney over 12K than give me a dime!!

For those of you that aren't familiar with my story this has been a 9 year battle. But every time I think that my daughter can spend the next 2 yrs of her life with out the interference of the jack ass makes me cry with relief, yep even now as I'm writing I'm tearing up. I've spend thousands and have watched her and I go through hell. But the look on her face when I told her I had custody.....PRICELESS!!!!!!!!

I look forward to her and my healing. She an amazing kid despite all that's happened to her. I'm thrilled that she gets to finish high school and go on to become an adult N free!!

Well that's the short version...believe it or not...lol...I'm still looking into doing something for those of us with kids that could use some support too. Now that this hurdle has been overcome and I can start to think straight again. I also have to give thanks to my family. Without them I couldn't have made it through.

And to so many of you on this site. Many of whom seem to no longer be here. I don't want to get into anything in relation to the past drama that's been happening. I do want to say that these ladies made a difference to me, especially when I was so close to giving in and just praying for the next two years to be over.

Stay strong and learn everything you can about these predators...that's what they are...

My daughter's father was so broken up about everything, NOT!, he emailed me a scant 8 hours after his "heart breaking" decision to ask me when he could drop off the rest of daughter's stuff. It's only been sitting there, since she ran away from him and refused to go back, two years ago!!

Love to all....stay strong and hang in there!!!

Jun 18 - 8AM
NancyM
NancyM's picture

Great to see a positive

Great to see a positive outcome for you AND your daughter. Congratulations!!

Nevergoback

Jun 18 - 5AM
justwantpeace
justwantpeace's picture

oh so happy

im so happy for you. finally some peace
Jun 18 - 7AM (Reply to #9)
hitandrun
hitandrun's picture

Sanctuary

BRAVO!!!! What an amazing woman you are. You did not give up. And now your daughter is safe. This IS wonderful news : )
Jun 18 - 2AM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Sanctuary

This is wonderful news! I am so happy for you! Now you and your daughter can heal. Enjoy this victory! You deserve it. I love that you want to help narc victims with kids. I never have any advice on that front and it's a HUGE issue. HUGE is an understatement. Congrats!!!
Jun 17 - 10PM
baddream
baddream's picture

Now you can rest easy.

You must feel so relieved about the outcome after all of this time. Enjoy your daughter and your special time. Congratulations and best wishes to both of you!
Jun 17 - 10PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Congratulations!

Glad to see that the good and the true... have WON! That's true justice!
Jun 17 - 10PM
Janet
Janet's picture

...She can become an adult N

...She can become an adult N free. great job as a mother. You are setting such a great example for your daughter! I am really, really glad for you. Peace. J

Peace. J

Jun 17 - 9PM
M
M's picture

full custody

Wow. Congrats...I can only hope that happens for my daughter too. She's 7 now.
Jun 17 - 9PM
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

Great

Congratualtions Sanctuary....now u can totally heal!! hugs

smileyfacepr

Jun 17 - 9PM
Introspection
Introspection's picture

Many (((hugs))) sweetheart and thanks for the update...

although familiar names may be missing, those that are here today are victims just like us looking for support so you are among the same "special" people that helped you through the difficult times. I thought that child support may not be waived even when there is a settlement agreement? You may at anytime take him to court to increase child support and they will "re-evaluate" your case even if there is a settlment agreement...check it out. Thank you for sharing your update and yes, they are a "piece of work!"