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broke the NC

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#1 Jun 15 - 7PM
sher1221
sher1221's picture

broke the NC

So I broke the NC rule. He has been texting me calling and facebooking me. I haven't answered in the 12 days I have been gone. Then last night he texted and said that if I didn't answer him this time he would just assume I didn't want anymore of my stuff out of the house and he would "take care of it. My choice". So not knowing what the hell he was planning for my stuff I texted big mistake it turned into blaming and how he deserved better than this and then evolved into well come by and see me sometime maybe we can go to dinner. OMG he is going to drive me frequent insane and now I feel like I have started over because he is defintely front and center on my mind again..Damn him.

Jun 16 - 6PM
sher1221
sher1221's picture

Thanks for the support

Thank you all for the support. It truly helps. Yes I do have to get a lot of stuff from our house. My daughter is going to come with me when this happens (she is an adult). Meanwhile he texted last night and said he was done with me I had made my choice and now just come get my crap basically. I don't believe for a minute he is done with me. If only that were true. But again thanks for the advice and support.
Jun 16 - 6PM (Reply to #5)
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

sher1221

Isnt it funny that we KNOW they arent done with us? Before I knew that he was a narc I had a feeling that he wasnt done. Both times we broke up I had a gut feeling it wasnt the end and he would be back around. His friends have even told me many times that they dont think he is really done with me. One of our mutual friends even told me the first time we broke up, "well dont worry he will be back sometime. He loves the exes". This was all before I knew he was a narc! Now that I know he is a narc I am for sure that he isnt done. Another indicator of this is that he will tell me he is done with me, then keep talking to me, then tell me a few days later he is REALLY done with me, then be nice, then the cycle goes on and on. It wont break until I break it. I know that now.

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jun 15 - 10PM
baddream
baddream's picture

Yes, this is how they do it.

They look for ways in and every opportunity to keep it going for as long as they think they can get supply from you. He was "testing" you with his dinner invitation. Do you need any of that stuff in the house? If you do, make plans to go get it when he is not there. Is there someone who can get it for you? After contact you feel like you must start all over again. Next time you will have stronger resolve. You should block his texts, but do not be surprised if he comes up with another method of contacting you. You are going to have to be strong.
Jun 15 - 8PM
Monica
Monica's picture

Sher1221...do you have items you need to get from him?

I think that, until you decide you need your stuff and will arrange to get it OR that you don't want or need the stuff and don't care what he does with it...your stuff will be what keeps an excuse for contact between the two of you. If you want your things, it may be good to ask some friends to get it for you so you do not have contact. If you don't want your things, then you can go NC now without anything tying the two of you together...no excuse for him to contact you. Yes, they can drive us insane - and set our recovery back by eons - in one short, simple conversation; sometimes in one sentence! He blamed you, told you he didn't deserve this and asked you to come by and have dinner with him all in a sentence or two!! That type of crazy-making still boggles my mind. But it is SO typical of them. This did put you back a few steps. And, yes, he will be front and foremost in your mind for a few days or a week, maybe longer. But then...you will be stronger, the longer you stay NC. NC helps you step away from the crazy-making and clearly see what games he was playing with you and how it just is not worth your sanity. NC breaks the spell he has over you.
Jun 15 - 9PM (Reply to #2)
better off
better off's picture

Yes. Make a final decision

Yes. Make a final decision about the stuff, and then block him. Either get a new cell number or block his. And block him on facebook. Then he can't contact you, and you won't be tempted to look at his profile and just get worked up over a total idiot. No contact is the path to healing, and that means NO contact.