Dance with the Devil

Ok...I've almost finished this book, and it is freaking spooky! Based on a true story of being married to a psychopath....
It gives me chills, and I may be letting my imagination run away with me, but there a couple of things that are sticking out in my mind now, in a way I never thought of them before.
So glad I "dodged the bullets"...............pun intended.
I know, in my mind, but I can't prove....that he wanted me to kill myself. I just wonder if he ever considered helping me before it came to that point?
I do know, that since he left, many sentimental things of mine are gone. Specifically one instance I recall, are my collection of seashell ornaments. HE planned on staying here until after Christmas, but I made him leave the day after Thanksgiving. When I was determined to have a tree for the children, I went berserk, literally, looking for my ornaments. They're gone. I think he threw them away, and I think he intended to watch and enjoy me fall apart looking for them.......There are other stories too, but that's just one example.
You guys have any stories? Am I being delusional?