All Mighty Dollar

Oh,the joys of academia. I found myself laughing when I read that my ex-N's recent lecture had underwriting (think of it like PBS) I wonder if it had as many commercial tie-ins as Lady GaGa and Beyonce's "Telephone."

He paid for everything. I really appreciated it too, because I hadn't had a guy be so generous before. One night, he told me that I would never have to pay for anything again. That made me uncomfortable because I don't ever want to be in a position where I feel money is held over my head. Later on, I thanked him for paying for something and he said, "Don't worry, there will be a time where I'll need you to pay". Normally, a statement like this wouldn't bother me, but from him, it did. I am pretty sensitive about being used because my last boyfriend mooched off me, (I think he as an N, whole 'nother story). Speaking of money, we went on a day trip to a touristy place and there was a man on the street collecting money for battered women. I remember he reached into his wallet and pulled out a ten. I watched the look on his face while he did it. It was like he as being forced to do it! Then he said, "It'sa very worthy cause". My alarm went off big time when that all happened. Again, with normal person, I would have thought, "How sweet", but with him, it was weird. I still hadn't put the pieces together, at that point.

When the N spent money, it would depend on the situation. If we went out for dinner, we would go to really nice places. But then he was benefiting too. If he could impress by shopping at Whole Foods for a dinner for guests, no amount of money was too much. If he was giving gifts for Christmas he would walk into whatever store had the prettiest saleswomen to flirt with, buy some lotions or whatever in a gift set, and break it up between me, his mom, his daughter, sister-in-law. I got lots of stuff that was labeled "not to be sold individually" LOL

I can say about the narc...he was not greedy. In fact, he had no clue how to handle his money. Come pay day, he was spending it on me, the kids, & himself. By Monday or Tuesday, he didn't have gas money for the week & would go pawn something!...What an idiot!...The gf after me was taken for a few thousand dollars within 8 months. Poor girl, she was a single mother of three (he had promised to marry her).

Yes, N#2, yes there is another one than the one I was married to. I haven't had the time to go into that one yet. But he spent a lot, flowers, dinners, trips, jewelry. I think a lot of it was to tell other what he bought me. One day, when I was trying to figure this relationship out, (before my N education) my sister pointed out that if he really loved me he would maybe pay for something useful like health insurance for me because I couldn't afford it. That hit home...another "aha" moment. He also bought me an engagement ring even when I told him I never had plans to get married again. So he called it a "commitment ring." He also gave me the appraisal for it. $23,000. He told me he bought me the biggest ring he thought I would wear. How romantic!! I gave it back 9 months later. I didn't need the entitlement he thought it gave him!! Shit, why are we all sooo nice? I should've kept it and I wouldn't be in the position I am now!!

tons of money .... like well over 100,000 in a 9 month period. Then there were the expensive gifts (Rolex... diamonds... elecronic gadgets, etc.) and monthly trips. I was treated like a princess financially ONLY... however he abused the hell outta me emotionally. The rages, cheating, push/pull, D&Ds, secrets, lies, disrespect, arrogance, criticisms, anger, pouting, punishments, yadda yadda! After he D&D me... I sent him a text telling him what a piece of shit he was and just a dispicable human being for neve loving me and abusing me..... he responded by sending a check for 10 grand with the comment that he is a "nice guy" and that I'm just a negative woman with issues. Of course I quickly deposited the money into my accout without a thank you. When he didn't receive a 'thank you',he sent me 30 texts telling me that I have "no manners" and he had no idea I could behave so classless... called me a user. Then I started feeling badly (dumb move on my part) and tried to contact him to "talk". He just had my head so confused .. i was in so much pain that I wanted him back- I was so bonded to him plus I really wanted a baby (long story)... Anyway he ignored my requests to talk, despite he sent me 30 text demanding a 'thank you' for the money. So... he used his money for control. He had so much of it ... it keeps the woman he's with feeling special while he is screwing escorts and all his other immoral behaviors behind her back. As for the narc I was with right before him. That narc was the total opposite. He HATED to spend a dime. He paid for about 4 dinner dates and then after that said he felt I wanted him for his money and wanted a free meal. Uhhhh... HUH!?!?! Mind you I make double his salary... so I REALLY thought he was joking when he made the comment- it was so delusional and not based in an ounce of reality. These men have the most sick relationship with money.... just crazy!!

spend the bare minimum...a few gifts. took a lot lot lot more. would often ask to borrow money. its a miracle he actually paid it back. felt entitled to my savings and bank account...werent married. thank god i never fell for that. but i would like my thousand of dollars of investment back.

Mine only spent money on me when he needed to. Basically he put in a small investment and got tons back out . He knew when I was catching on so he would throw something my way then I would continue to pay all the bills and buy him things. He would also steal from me and claim random people did it even though it was only he and I living there!!! He wouldn't even buy the groceries when HIS kids were coming over for the weekend .

Mine only spent money on me when he needed to. Basically he put in a small investment and got tons back out . He knew when I was catching on so he would throw something my way then I would continue to pay all the bills and buy him things. He would also steal from me and claim random people did it even though it was only he and I living there!!! He wouldn't even buy the groceries when HIS kids were coming over for the weekend .

he never really had any money i found out way too late...he spent some of his mommy's money on me...until he had me hooked...then he bled me dry.....bone dry.....

Yes. From the sound of it, that's what many do. Some sociopathic/psychopathic traits as well....... Mine spent kaboodles on me, until we married. Then I could hardly get money from him for my meds! Stop thinking! Be glad he's gone! It will get better.