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saw pics of them

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#1 Apr 21 - 2PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

saw pics of them

now I can relate to those of you that posted you saw pics of your Narc and the new victim. He took her out on NYE...and not only that but to a Broadway show. He never spent that kind of money on me...I had to pay half for almost everything...if not all of it... and I have limited income...and there they are out and about.

NYE I was home very sick... and there he is out and about supposedly so ill like me...but could go out for NYE...what a friggin fraud.

I am now even more determined to never ever have anything to do with this nasty man ever again!

and No I will not be looking at more pics- this is just something I needed to do and see....

but why is she allowed to post pics publicly and I was never allowed. I did once and he told me to never post them public...in case he was being spied on by his insuarnce company. more like he didnt want anyone to know he had a gf.

Apr 21 - 6PM
azucar
azucar's picture

I am glad to hear you won't be looking anymore

Destiny, He's an evil ass. Just remember no matter what kind of a show he puts on for his new supply and for others, the cycle will just repeat.
Apr 21 - 4PM
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

oh my

He was seeing her when we talked in Nov...I just remembered when he kept calling me non stop because he rejoined that site and I said I was going to tell everyone what he was about... he called non stop...and I picked up and we talked.. now this explains everything...what he said to me and why he said it... what a snake...trolling for NS when he was with her...talking to me until 830AM..while seeing her!! that is why the prick blocked his number he didnt want proof he was calling me... probably knew I just might show it to her(he was so paranoid) I feel better about a lot of things.. all the blame he placed on me etc back in Nov.. what a cruel evil non human! “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Apr 21 - 5PM (Reply to #19)
enoughalready
enoughalready's picture

destiny

I've thought and ruminated so long about certain times, whether he was with someone, etc. It's so sickening to think we were in love with these predators while all along he was screwing around behind our backs. The betrayal, deceptions, lies and gas-lighting were so cruel.
Apr 21 - 5PM (Reply to #11)
Introspection
Introspection's picture

the BENEFITS of validation

I absolutely understand the BENEFITS of validation!!! To date, I still go back to the emails I forwarded from his hotmail account to mine when I busted him cheating. I go back on the dates and compare to the events in my life and what he was doing/saying to me and the PICTURE is complete. THESE sickos are Rotten to the Core! I was hospitalized the days he was out dating. Days before I had begged him to come see me, I really needed his company...I was not doing well. He told me that he was VERY busy at work and was caring for his son (shared custody). Validating all this info really helps me with closure. Everything he will NOT tell me or admit to; I can recreate! Totally understand you.
Apr 22 - 9PM (Reply to #18)
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

Introspection

Funny. I did the same thing. On the dates of the emails, what we he saying in those emails and how was he treating me? What was he saying? That is when I finally realized how messed up he was. He was trying to pick me up online (I was anonymous) and telling me online that he had no girlfriend and no attachments and he really wanted to meet me. On that same day he told me (real me) that he was in a "serious relationship", but was also "going through a funnel" and didn't know where he would end up. And when he told me online that he had no attachments, he had two married emotional lovers and a fake girlriend! OMG - I can't believe he didn't have time for you and used the kid excuse to date. That is sick.
Apr 21 - 5PM (Reply to #13)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Introspection- I can relate

Introspection- I can relate to what you posted..it seems they are never there when we really needed them.. and I am not surprised yours was out dating while you were in the hospital. .one time mine told me to 'put on my granny panties like a big girl' this after I was begging him to come see me since he we hadnt seen eachother in a month... he had OW then too. turns out he really pissed off this one woman and she told me of his OW.. all in an email all of them listed for me... he begged for me back..and I did take him back and he was somewhat better the 2nd half...but I was validated by that email the woman sent...it linked everything and everytime he was harsh and angry and cruel he has OW... One time OW#3 sent me an email from him to her..wooing her... and I searched the date in my emails..and found one from him sent on the same date hours apart- telling me I just needed to relax and he wanted to date me..but I needed to relax more.. so..when he was trying to beg for me back..I copied her email and the one he sent me and sent it to the jerk...and said look I was right all along he had someonelse... He called me sobbing... like a little baby...begging me not to expose him. So this is the 2nd time I was really validated.. in my experience when they are nasty to us..they have found OW.. How long have you been free of your Narc? “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Apr 21 - 6PM (Reply to #15)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

destiny

"He called me sobbing... like a little baby...begging me not to expose him". Sounds like a good candidate for exposure sites ;)
Apr 21 - 6PM (Reply to #17)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

quietude

hope you OBLIGED him! ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
Apr 21 - 6PM (Reply to #16)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I know doesnt it quietude

I know doesnt it quietude :) he was exposed once, but only to the online community..and he twisted it so it appeared that that OW was the nutzo one . I have been giving it serious concideration to putting him on all of the sites.. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Apr 21 - 5PM (Reply to #14)
Introspection
Introspection's picture

Three years!

Three years! Fascinating how we are free yet really never forget. JERKS!
Apr 21 - 5PM (Reply to #12)
enoughalready
enoughalready's picture

validation

Something I don't have. I have had strong gut feelings of his cheating by his inconsistent stories, the books I've read and all the comments placed on this board. I feel if I had validation, my gut would tell me I was right all along. I'm sure he has covered his tracks well. He always told me I had a key to his place and I always told him, I was not stupid enough to believe he would take a woman to his place knowing that. He'd only go to other women's homes. I feel if he can lie about things he doesn't need to lie about, he'll lie about everything. When I visit this website, it confirms my suspicions and i feel that's enough.
Apr 21 - 4PM
Introspection
Introspection's picture

Ns are very materialistic....

Initially when my xN left, I was a mess. I had a good friend who was my support during this awful time and told me that my xN left because I did not have enough influence or enough money; the Ns are very materialistic. Deep down inside me, I knew my friend was right. Often times my xN borrowed money from me. I didn't understand how a "man" (working under the assumption that he was normal) would have the face to ask a woman for money, this was not right I thought but loaned him the money because that is what we do to keep them! (Speaking strickly hindgsight). My actions caused much conflict to my conscience and one of the reasons why even though I LOVED him, I would be miserable...this I knew. You are assuming he paid for the Broadway Show...I think NOT. Also, those pictures are up for a reason and they will go down when they serve its purpose...making his gf happy so that he may get more money? hurting you? With these bastards, you'll never know. To your question though...WHY DO YOU CARE!!! Be happy that you escaped him and pray for the new victim, she just may join our community in a few months! I'm sorry if I am being harsh (((HUGS)))! Go about your life and pretend he is dead. There will good days and bad days, but the sooner you deal with life as if he didn't exist, you will be on your way to recovery!
Apr 21 - 4PM (Reply to #9)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Introspection

Thanks- you are very right...why on earth do I care. I was just doing some stuff around the house and like I just posted a huge memory popped into my head that NOv(the date of the broadway pics etc) was when he called me non stop..was so nasty to me.. and now I know why...I guess it is validating... and I have been doing much better without the creep in my life..more relaxed... can just deal with my own life and not his life too. Barbara- I dont think the pics were put up for me...they were posted by her.. maybe to bother someonelse...who knows.. I will go back to NC..the pics didnt hurt me any just made me angry.. months ago I would have been crying over them.. true about him paying for the show- probably didnt.. Narc would make fun of me liking baseball...then when he was winning me back.. said he wanted to take me to a game...well I ended up paying for it and he paid me for his half after we went to the game. I hope for her sake she catches on too and finds him out. thanks everyone.. NC is the only way to do it...but I am glad I found out.. more proof he is a cheating Narc ..evil to the core. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Apr 21 - 4PM
better off
better off's picture

Why do you think HE paid for

Why do you think HE paid for it? This is why you have to stay NC. woundedsoul is right, he WANTS you to see it, you and who knows who else. So don't look. That's your only "revenge" : not paying attention to his stupid life.
Apr 21 - 3PM
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Destiny

Your narc is such an ass just like all the rest of the narcs! My exN was asking his cousin to hook him up with Dallas Cowboy tickets. In the seven yrs together, he didn't watch a single football game! (I I asked his ex gf (gf after me) if he started watching fball & she said , "No, he hated whenever i watched it, said it was a waste of time!" So, I'm sure he was doing one of his "role playing"! Supposively, new gf likes football. They are such idiots! Your exN's new gf better have enjoyed that broadway show cos it won't be long before all that comes to a screeching halt! (Maybe she'll figure him out!)
Apr 21 - 2PM
woundedsoul36
woundedsoul36's picture

"but why is she allowed to

"but why is she allowed to post pics publicly and I was never allowed. I did once and he told me to never post them public...in case he was being spied on by his insuarnce company. more like he didnt want anyone to know he had a gf." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Because he WANTS you to see them he WANTS you to know... he gets off on your pain and is probably hoping you will confront him about it.. (NS JACKPOT FOR THE DAY)
Apr 21 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

but I am seeing them thru an

but I am seeing them thru an alternate account...one he didnt know I even had...I guess that is most likely why he re added that one mutual friend we had back to his FB...probably hoping that she would tell me... the funny thing is ...that when we last spoke in Nov(he was seeing her) and I told him I had heard he was seeing someone with Dark hair(LOL...I just made that up bc I knew he had to be seeing someone) and sure enough she has dark hair. He probably thought someone was reporting back to me hehehe. there was even a pic of her house....big home...so I am sure she has a lot of money...and he will move right in. Unlike me who is struggling to survive being disabled. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Apr 21 - 4PM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

destiny

STOP STOP LOOKING AT THOSE PICTURES he knows you're looking he wants to hurt you STOP STOP STOP N O C O N T A C T ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
Apr 21 - 6PM (Reply to #4)
Monica
Monica's picture

Thank you, Barbara

This is one thing I did "get" very early on after I broke it off with xN/P...I stopped "looking," stopped asking common friends about him, refused to talk about him with anyone unless it was someone who was "seeing" him for what he really is (or who knew all along he was a snake). I know I have saved myself so much more pain and hurt by NOT looking into what he is doing or saying or where he is going. To me, this has been one of your most important lessons. Yes, they want us to know, they want us to see, they want us to hear...simply because they want to hurt us!! Just....stop...looking. Just...stop...asking. Just...stop... So right!!!
Apr 21 - 7PM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

right Monica

doesn't matter who posted it who says who reveals it just STOP... I know seeing Narc #1 and ex-friend/2nd wife's pics sent me reeling and it's been ~20 years. http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/07/22/barbaras-story#comment-13476 so I think, wow he's finally happy - still smearing me - she's finally happy - still smearing me - finally together - then i remember - he's an N and she might be one too! happy? NOT!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller