The "Real" Goodbye Letter

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#1 February 25, 2013 - 7:06pm

The "Real" Goodbye Letter

I will always hope that one day you find peace within. I'm sorry you were abused as a child and that the pain you feel is so overwhelming that you cannot help but find fault in others rather than yourself. As much as I would love to hate you passionately for the rest of my life, I choose instead to not so I can really be released from this Hell I have been living in. After all, hate in my heart and head would destroy me and I will not allow you in anyway to damage me again.

I know that there are things about myself that need to be “fixed” and will seek out professional help as I do not have all the answers. I cannot and will not leave this Earth having not tried to heal the many wrongs that were done to me as a child which I was unable to control or stop. And I will no longer allow the hurts of the past to define my future.

I have learned so much about myself through the pains of our relationship. I truly, thank you for reopening the wounds I thought were long gone. Because of you, I can take the most painful parts and have a starting point in which to begin again the journey to fully recover from the abuse I have suffered in my lifetime.

I'm having difficulty fully forgiving you now; but I forgive the part of you that has hurt me because your long unhealed wounds are still open and much too painful for you to feel. The one thing I have done in the past and will continue to do is overcome with complete understanding what keeps me from reaching my fullest potential. I will continue to strive toward the ultimate feeling of peace and contentment.

I am a compassionate and empathetic soul sometimes to my detriment; but will find through this most painful time in my life, who I am and finally make decisions for my future based upon my needs. I will work diligently to have and keep boundaries with any person I come in contact with. I will for the first time in my life, make these boundaries unbreakable.

I am strong and capable. I am loving and lovable. I am kind and considerate. I am deserving of the best of treatment not because I am special; but because I have for too long allowed others needs, moods and opinions convince me I didn't. I can no longer believe that our relationship can be repaired as it is fatally flawed. I couldn't have loved someone more, but realize that the behaviors I have engaged in throughout it are not healthy and have become an addiction.

It’s time to let the fairy tale go and get down to the reality of cleaning up what disarray loving you has left me in. The biggest lesson I learned in all of this is: I will NEVER again become so depressed that I try to end my life. My life is WORTH living and it is far from being over.

I will miss you, the one in the fairy tale; but it's now time for Sleeping Beauty to wake the Hell up and get started living the rest of her life without you in it.

September 15, 2017 - 1:27am


I know it's been years since you posted this, but this letter is beautiful. All too often, I want to be mad and insult my Narc, but another part of me truly empathizes with the pain he feels. I think the main problem is letting go of the fairy tale and to stop trying to be his ice pack. I don't know how to let go of the anger yet because it's too new, but I want to feel like this letter someday.

November 23, 2015 - 6:18pm

Thank you for this!

Thank you for this!

January 6, 2014 - 10:02pm

You read my mind

This letter is so well written. It's like u read my mind and have experienced everything I've been thru. I'm so thankful for this site and ur letter. It brought me to tears. Thank u!!

February 27, 2013 - 10:00am

Well done! Keep doing the

Well done! Keep doing the work. You deserve all the good this life has to offer :)

February 25, 2013 - 11:55pm

Great letter

Thank you for sharing You are an awesome and loving person.

February 25, 2013 - 10:02pm


What a beautifully written letter.You sound like a very strong and determined lady! You will get to exactly where you need, and want, to be now that you have chosen to rid your life of the toxins that kept bringing you down. Congratulations.

November 7, 2017 - 11:27am (Reply to #2)

I know too this was posted a long time ago..

But I too was incredibly touched by this letter. It was a love letter to yourself. And you sound so healthy (dammit, I wish I was there already!) and incredibly insightful. I too thanked my abuser for victimizing me. You have given me the strength to post a "no send" letter I wrote that kind of had the same theme. I will miss the good times we had, the words he used to paint a fairytale, but the fairytale is over and I also can relate to you wanting to end your life. But look at you now! I loved when you said that you deserve to live, you have really touched a lot of people with that letter and I am actually going to print it out and read it when I need strength to go on. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for sharing!
With love,


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