Goodbye mr sandman

Finally goodbye. You have taken from me for the last time my empathy, my wisdom, my care, my need to be there for you, my need for hope, my need for understanding. All you could do was stand in my way of what I offered and hoped and dreamed of for US. I surrender to the hopelessness of it all. My pain is mine alone, mine to bear as you cannot feel the pain of the illusion we created together. My pain alone in this desert of vast shifting sand which was our time together. Never knowing how the drifts would materialise due to the winds of change. Im done and done in now. All I can do is accept that we were drifting sand dunes forming changing reforming once again into another sandstorm of another shapeshifting idea of who we were. I can build my own sandcastle now and put a moat around it, leaving you outdside...weeping (or probably not as I now know better) at not just the castle but the world I have rebuilt without your accolades, supremacy, direction or even critisism. Its my castle...it may be wonky, it may not be perfect but its mine and in time I will perfect it with help from those who do love me, care for me and can hold my hand whilst I try and make it a better structure.
Goodbye my false illusion, my strong wind waiting to blow me away..Im still standing against the tide.
Lxx