Panic attacks about "checking"
Panic attacks about "checking"
Okay, so here it is. Trying to deconstruct some of my thoughts and feelings as day 1 of 2014.
I have NO desire to check or see anything further about xN. Life is going really well right now, I have been enjoying the peace and calm and progress has been gifting me daily.
Yet, I get these random panic attacks. Just had one so I thought I'd share.
So for whatever reason I used to check OW's Instragram with one type of internet browser (mozilla firefox vs. internet explorer which I use for all other web browsing). The reason......who knows. Some type of pseudo OCD, trying to compartmentalize my life, or as a way of controlling my behavior to reduce anxiety. Not 100% sure and I'm assuming a psychiatrist would have a hay day with that lol. Anyways, if I open that browser type even if by accident, a rush of panic sweeps over me. I am so terrified of looking even though I have no desire to - or maybe I do, and I'm pushing it out? In denial? Scared I'll succumb to impulses as I used to in the past?
Anyways, the feeling is temporarily debilitating...my heart races, adrenaline pumping, body gets very warm, extreme nausea - almost like a stab into my stomach. I've even had tears come on from it. Even once I've closed the browser, I continue to get these waves of anxiety for the next few hours. It's highly disruptive of my day.
Sorry, when I write this out it sounds so bizarre haha. I'm just trying to figure out how to overcome this. If anyone has any thoughts about this, please share.
I realized my 'checking' is
Ah yes.
I need to understand this!!!
jjj
saving
this feeling is normal. nip
Psychology 101
Ah, you know it's so funny.
Google the "Golden Key",
Not sure what you're asking here jjj?
Hey Willow, All of what you
Ok, Good. Thanks :) I think I
I'm confused by this entire thread
Therapy and Meds
Hey :) To be clear, I don't
Oh yes...I've come to accept
You might think your post had
You are getting caught up in
That sounds like a rush of
Yeah, I've read that too with
Heh heh... No thinking! When
One last hint
P.s.