Looking at the narcissist through your lens
Looking at the narcissist through your lens
SavingMyself on BB's recent post:
"I think often times we are seeing the narc as we are...kind, compassionate, gentle hearted, hardworking, etc...and we forget to see them as they really are.. .the fact that he has not contacted you is no reflection of you or your worth...it is a blessing in disguise so that you can give yourself the love that you might otherwise waste on him."
This is exactly what I needed too. I feel like he went inside my brain and rewired me to think good things of him and bad things about myself. I'm still wasting time on him with obsessive thinking.
SavingMyself~
Goldie's reply:
We don't solve our problems or skewed thinking by looking at anyone through our lens.
My friend was a nurse with her masters.
A teaching nurse.
Years ago she mentioned to me that one of the first things she was taught was NOT to look at the patient through yourself (your eyes ). Not useful to treating them. Or knowing and understanding them.
Learn about them and look at them through their lens as best as your are able.
For a variety of reasons, many are never taught to do this.
I must hear 5 times per day.
But Goldie. I would never do this or Goldie, I just can't understand how he can be so mean. How people can be do mean.
How about. Reading the list of traits which the N has and writing out a list of your own regarding traits he has and .,,,
viewing what HE does through HIS traits, not yours.
Please STOP saying ...
But I would never do this....
Or I can't understand......
This type of statement keeps you stuck and reliving your pain over and over and over and over.
These false belief thoughts and statements keep you perpetually stuck and victimized.
How about:
I totally get that this man has used me and lied to me and I choose not to allow him in my life anymore.
I allow space in my mind body and soul for loving honest people to approach me.
And so on ........
Xo
Goldie
Hitting home!
It is our choice isnt it? I
Painful but useful
Xo
I totally get that this man
Amazing!
Yes, this makes sense to me.. I recall this in group
Hi Truth. It's so good to see
ItsFinallytime
Truth
Love this Goldie
This is an excellent thread -
Journey on...
I keep reading this over and
Right On Goldie
This is simply excellent,
Looking back, I feel like an idiot sometimes
Yep... love this post
Willow
as usual, right on. folks, if
This concept is key to
I'm slowly coming around
Goldie, thank you so much for this
Goldie
Thanks goldie.This was
Yes!
I only had this ephinany