A new low

The inevitable happened. I am 2 months NC and I found out he has himself a girlfriend after telling me for years he never wanted a real relationship. Yes-I'm thinking he changed for her, and I wasn't good enough, etc blah blah blah... My heart is rebroken. I'm a mess. Can't get out of bed, non stop crying. It's killing me. When does the pain end? I just wish it would all go away. This is a whole new sadness. Someone slipped and told me accidentally last night. My reaction wasn't well. I'm not well in the head. My mom gave me some serious tough love last night that didn't go well. I just want to curl up in my bed... And get rid of the pain. When will I forgive myself? Sometimes I think I'm doing great and then bam I take 100 steps back. I just want someone to hold me right now as cheesy as that is haha. I feel so alone.