Triggered

I'm not sure what triggered me tonight. I was doing really well, coming to terms with what happened and who he really was. I'm alone this week; my daughter is with her father, but I have been working through that. Then tonight - BAM! I'm feeling anxiety and fear and insecurity.

I was home all day today and I actually read this forum, Lisa's book, web sites etc more than usual. I read all day. That combined with 37 days NC brings more clarity and maybe I got a dose larger than I can handle for one day. And I posted a quick version of My Story...In One story I read today the N had the same name as the N in my life and that actually triggered me too.

It all seems surreal.

I'm actually divorcing after a 27 year marriage. I cannot even believe that.
(It would have happened anyway, but not this way or this quickly)
This man came into my life, like a tornado, whipped things up, left a trail of destruction.
Finding out how abused I really was. That it was a a lie.

I can't believe it even happened. He feels like such a stranger now that I know. If I ran into him I'd be scared, I really would.

It's just such a weird place to be in. To understand it all intellectually but still not be able to wrap my brain around it.

Anyway, I just needed to let it out. I know I'll be better one day. Today is just a minor set back.

I SO appreciate this forum.

Lisa