Moving On

One of my friends told me it would be EASIER for me to move on, because my ex-N didn't have any feelings for me. I was devastated. Here was a man I thought I had come to know over 3 years, listen to his stories, develop empathy--but it was my friends who warned me that I was his beard (not to look straight, but to look human) and that he was using me. I'm enjoying a happier life now. I don't miss his negativity. I don't miss his constant complaining. He can still ask,"Why are you so happy?" But he'll have to find out so himself. He's a damn philosopher! He's supposed to f*&&*king know!

If they target nice people maybe it's because they know they can never get to that plateau in life. They try everything in their power to bring us down to their level. When they get us there, their job is done and they leave, letting us pick up the pieces of our broken lives. They get us to a point where we're unsure of ourselves, lack self esteem, and make us emotionally disabled, just like themselves. Look at how abnormal that is. They orchestrate our mental health to mirror their's. If that isn't deranged, I don't know what is. I sought therapy and medication because I thought I was the sick one. He was in therapy and on medication. I had my stuff together before I met the zero. Since I got rid of the moron, I stopped therapy, thankfully I needed no medication, and realized I still AM 100%. . I just needed the lunatic out of my life. That's when life got back to normal again.

Thanks Wallaby!! The spell has worn off. I've been de-programming myself to see him as evil and a waste. It wasn't real. It was an act. That has helped. When they move on to another source, we need to see that we've been saved. The problem now belongs to someone else. It's futile to warn the other person. The N has probably told them that we were the ones at fault. In fact, that's getting involved again. Don't succumb to getting hoovered in. Free your mind. Get yourself well. The replacement will eventually figure it out. If they don't, so be it.

Well All, It's been a little over a month and NC. I'm doing better. I've accepted the fact that the whole thing with N was fake. That has helped a great deal. The other day someone asked me if I'd go back if he asked. The answer to that is a BIG NO. Going back means putting up with double abuse. He will make you pay for the "hurt" you put him through. Remember that. They're vengeful. My self esteem has been steadily going up....I'm not yet fully there. I've started jogging again, and I feel great. I'm looking forward to the future again. Never lose hope for the future. Just keep reminding yourselves that it isn't you. These people are short circuited and mal-adjusted. Their emotion levels are that of a 5 year old. They hate joy, love, and compassion. In short, they hate life. Whenever I feel shaky, I come back here and read the posts on the message board. They put everything in perspective for me. This site is dedicated to the suffering and the survivors.