Second guessing

I'm starting to wonder if it was him or me. Well, I know a lot of it was him, but I've been reading threads on here & some of the abuse is just horrific and makes me feel terrible for what people have endured. Serious abuse just makes me want to weep.

The man I'd been seeing was a prat who loved to play games with me. Mostly blowing hot and cold & with a bit of gaslighting and lying thrown in. He became slightly verbally aggressive but no more than swearing at me & calling me "aggressive" (I'm the least aggressive person on the planet. But no nasty names, no physical abuse. It was more that he either didn't know his arse from his elbow or he enjoyed pulling back and watching me get into a spin.

He would always say "we must do this & that" and it never happened. I eventually got upset at him & sent him a message saying how hurt I was he could find the time to do all these things with other people but not me. He got upset, but then sent me a message later trying to change the subject & telling me "I talk crap". I got upset, had a family disaster & we didn't speak until he got back in contact. That was all fine. He went away, came back & wasn't speaking, when I asked him why, he said "you asked me to leave you alone a month ago". WTF, the head games. I blew up, told him he was messing me about, it was over (he suggested it).

And now after reading other threads on here I'm wondering if I was more to blame than him. Yes, he was playing stupid head games with me, but did I over react? He really doesn't sound that bad compared to other men.