CD examples

As I have mentioned CD seems to be the most complicated of my conditions ; probably what is keeping me mentally stuck regardless of all the other research and tactics I've been implementing.
I would posts with 3 examples of CD episodes, so the MODS would possibly see if we are on the right track with this. I have noticed through past posts, I am not the only one confused. It seems an obvious, simple concept but difficult to apply circumstances to.
Here are my major three :

1)
I had evidence equalling fact he was having frequent unprotected sex. I still had unprotected sex with him myself because he would explain the evidence and use emotional manipulation like " you never want to have sex with me anymore, I must disgust you." ; " I would never, ever hurt you or put you in harms way." ; " I never was having sex with you and them at the same time. What do you think I am?"
I would feel absolutely disgusted after/during sex, I would feel I let myself down and allowed him to use me. I would feel not good enough. I would constantly worry I contracted a disease from him.
However, I always believed there was a chance the evidence was coincidence and chose to believe his denials.

2)
I had evidence from his past behaviors much of what he did with the business was not financially legal/moral. I looked through the books and statements every year and found these discrepencies. I would confront him, asking if much he was sending me to do, with the tax department and banks was legal and truthful. I knew it wasn't, I saw it wsn't, but he would simply say "I don't do anything I'm not allowed to do" ; " I would never get you involved in anything illegal! You're my wife!" ; " I would never take the chance of losing our business, it's all I have!" ; " You just don't understand how a business runs."
I would get physically sick walking into the bank every time to deposit or withdraw, I avoided speaking directly to the tax department and if I had to I'd make up stories.
This killed me inside, I was so ashamed and so scared. I have respect for authority and the lies brought my self esteem to zero.

3)
He had two charges of DUI, drug charges, assault charges but had convinced me early on it was the police's issue with him, the courts screwed him over, he had a bad lawyer etc. However, I witnessed him do all these things. I reasoned he was just unlucky and the police hated him ; knowing all along it was a miracle he was only in jail once and still retained a licence and insurance at that time. Several times I would ask before our child and I got into the truck if he had drugs in the vehicle. He always said no " As if! You think I'm that big of a loser?" ; " Never with my kid in the car! I'm not that fucked." ; " Would you stop making a fuckin fight, I told you NO so stop asking! We have to go through this every fucking time!!!!"
I found the drugs several times, in the truck as I thought. Once ( before our child was born ) I grabbed the drugs out of the glove compartment and stuck them up my pant leg when he was pulled over for speeding.
Still, I would start the fight, take the verbal abuse that went with it, and yes, get into the damn truck! The ST would follow right on schedule, and he'd terrorize me by speeding and stunting.Then, I would feel guilty and tell myself, well....he probably doesn't THIS time because it was such a big fight last time.
Nice! This put me at total odds with myself because I was too busy berating myself and resenting him, he did what he wanted.

These were huge mental, moral and intellectual conflicts for me, absolutely devastating now.