im back from the final round

As I wake up this morning I'm feeling ashamed. I let him in and it all happened again. Same old story... but in the beginning, it seemed different this time. Like he wanted to change. Great for two weeks, then I miss his phone call and BAM he D&Ds me then vanished from the face of the earth with no explanation. I've been through the crying phase and now I'm just over it. It's been 4 days NC for me so far this time. I'm back and feel like it may not have been different from his perspective but this time it's different from mine. I'm done. I'm ready to fight for myself. Admitting that I slipped and asking for support is my first step to getting real.
Even if he wanted to change he doesn't have the capacity to do so. as much as I loved this man...it didn't matter & It's ok for me to accept that it failed....