The next step?

I am so thankful to everyone on this site. It truly has saved me. The information and support is invaluable.
I had a question posed to me by a friend of mine who has been very supportive and I wasn't sure what to say because I agreed with her slightly.
She wondered at what point do I stop focusing on him, his PD and what he did and just let it go and focus only on me?
I can say that I feel like my addiction to him was replaced with the need to read and learn about his PD. I have not been able to focus on my life but I sure can focus on learning about this.
I know that it is important for me to understand that this was not my fault. It is important to understand why to never go back or fall for a hoover. It is important to know what the red flags are with new people in the future.
Am I letting him consume too much of my time since my focus is on his PD? How do I shift the focus to working on finding positive things for myself. I am looking for thoughts and advice from people who have been doing this for a while. Thanks in advance.