The cycle is clear

Over the last couple of days I have been writing my story in my journal, and making a note of things he said and did in an attempt to stop thinking about him. I must admit I felt very sad and depressed after I finished writing my story. I even had a mini meltdown and sobbed for a bit. But I'm ok now and back on track.

I thought I'd share with you some of the things he said to me during each stage of the cycle, plus some other random ridiculous things. The list is long but thats not even half of it... he said a lot of things that made me shake my head in confusion.

IDEALISE

You're so pretty (the first day we met)
You're adorable
I love you bub
I love you so much
I want to spend the rest of my life with you
You are perfect. I think I might keep you.
You're the best
You're a life saver
You're such a good cook. Your food is restaurant quality.
I love spending time with you.
I can't wait to move in. (thank God he never did)
You're so beautiful
You mean so much to me
I wear the watch you gave me just so I can feel close to you (insert gagging)
I cant wait to hold you in my arms

DEVALUE

You're so argumentative
Why are you always on the defensive
One f'n rule and you can't even follow it
Are you for f'n real?
You are carrying on like a whiny little schoolgirl bitch
It's none of your god damn business what I do
Just sit there and look pretty
Stop talking
Sorry, you've been talking for ages and I haven't listened to a word you said. All I heard was bla bla this and bla bla that (whilst laughing at me)
What do you want Bub? Oh it's ok, I don't really need to know. (before I could answer him)
You don't understand me
You are being a selfish bitch
How dare you attack me
How dare you call me a liar
I don't deserve this treatment. I have done nothing wrong.
Are you ready to apologise?
You really broke my heart I hope you are happy.
You destroyed our love
This is all your fault
You need to be punished
You're just like the rest.
You're nothing special
You're not strong enough for this
Have you always been a nagger?
If you really love me you will...
Do you love me enough to ....
Stop being a dick
No wonder you're kids moved out
I don't recall saying that

DISCARD

I hate you
You have ruined my life
Never contact me again
Never ever contact me again (after he contacted me...)
I know it hurts but this is how it has to be (after going to OW)
There is no chance of us getting back together
Now there is no F'n chance of us getting back together
I can't watch you fall apart
You're now just another crazy f'd up ex!
I can't stand the distrust
Leave me alone

OTHER STUPID STUFF

I'm the princess in this relationship
Just do as you're told
You'll need to get a second job soon
I need to find a rich woman
Women can never say no to me
You will lose you're identity when we are married (yes, he actually said that)
You will only need a voice to ring 000 (the emergency number in Australia)
I'm so hot
You're so lucky you get to f this (while admiring himself)
I look so hot today
I have never lied to you
There's nobody else but you
Trust me
That's what you get for dating a bad boy
I'm the worst boyfriend ever (looking for sympathy)
I'm a loser (again, sympathy..)
You're mad to want to be with me. All I will do is take all your money and send you crazy (yes, he said this!)
Why do I make women crazy?
I get bored easily
I'm a creature of habit
I have no off switch
Don't you hate it that I am more immature then your own children?
I hate to lose
I love fucking with your head

I'm sure many of you have heard the same rubbish dribble from your N's mouths.
I can't believe I loved this evil maniac. When I was writing this list I though to myself.. seriously? You are crying over this??? WAKE UP!!!!

I can feel you all nodding in agreement. I promise that I will never go back for another round.

I'm done! Now he just needs to leave my head and I'll be good!