please help

So march 24th was a year that my ex narc broke up with me and up until that point I had my ups and downs but I really felt like I was okay. Two days after that year milestone I recieved a phone call letting me know that my ex was in county jail. Immeidtaley after finding that out I went to find his sister to find out what was going on only to than go to the jail put 80 dollars on his commissary and write him a letter letting him know my address and new phone number so he could let me know if he needed anything. After leaving the jail I immediately started balling my eyes out because at that moment i relaized I wasnt good and I hadnt made the porgess that I thought I had. He called the following night and I accepted the charges and went on to tell him that I want to be there for him he really in no way led me to believe he cared either way if I was there for him. He than went on to tell me anyman would love to have me by there side and my response was "well why arent you that man" and he responded I don't want to talk about that because it will make me sad.
Someone please give me a virtual slap in the face I need some serious advice because my head is spinning thinking how can he be locked up and still not really care if I am there.