The struggle

Well, I did it... I hit one week NC!!

This is huge for me. To go an entire week without talking to him is huge. And today is my 28th birthday. I gave myself the gift of... myself. My sanity.

I went out with friends last night and had some drinks, left my phone at home, and honestly I didn't even feel one ounce of anxiety about it, I didn't even think about him. It was so, so nice to just ENJOY WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN FRONT OF ME, instead of smiling on the outside and being torn apart on the inside about "why am I getting ignored? Why is he mad NOW? What is wrong with me? What can I do to fix what I did wrong this time?"

I laughed, I mingled, I chatted, I laughed some more... And then I laughed some more. It was amazing,

So my question is - does anyone else have this same internal struggle, where on the outside you are happy but the inside is a toxic wasteland? Do you get the same sense of joy that I get by just living in "the now" instead of your mind being preoccupied with junk?

It's amazing how good it feels to just BE.

my goal to get through to week 2 is to work on that. The feeling of living in the now,

Happy Easter everyone!