The N Finding The One?

The N made me feel like I was the "One." He would say things starting with the phrase, "No other girl has..." or "You're the best at..." It made me start to believe that he was the One and I told him that. I'm sure he thought, "Mission Accomplished." Well he was not the One and he thinks every girl he meets is the One. This is part of him always being right. Of course the girl he is with is the One. It's because he chose her and he's always right. It's more of a self-flattery thing than anything else. That's why he can't admit that the girl he dumped was obviously not the One. Because then he would have to admit that he made a mistake. That's why he blames it on us. It's out fault that we didn't live up to his ideal vision of the "One." It's our fault that he was wrong thinking we were the One. What a backwards way of thinking. Good riddens to that hot mess.

HELLO! DUH! NO-ONE will be THE ONE for these sicko's,as,they will be searching forever! FOREVA! for the elusive "ONE! they will idealize/devalue/discard til the day they D.I.E.it will NOT change.Just remember,its normal to feel jealous,of,the other woman,but,know this-she will be getting the devaluation that they all do so well.....and,mine is 66 and they get worse with age=not better.

I truly believed that my last exN/psycho was "The One." I thought it was a sign when he dressed up as Neo from The Matrix. Neo is referred to as "The One." After I figured out that he's most likely NPD or maybe even a psychopath, that costume took on a whole new meaning. In his mind, he is "The One," there can never be another! Oh, and I'm pretty sure he jumped back into a relationship with his ex girlfriend right after he D&D'd me. He announced his relationship with her on fb and posted a nice big picture of the two together. If it is his ex gf, when he was in his idealization phase with me, he said he knew after a couple of months with her that he couldn't be with her long term because she was too boring. When he was D&D'ing me, suddenly, he said "Where do you get the balls to think you are my girlfriend? I knew my ex girlfriend, she knew me, I don't really know you." They are twisted sick sick jerks and their words mean absolutely nothing. People are objects to them and for as long as you are a thinking person who is assertive about your needs, you can never be "the one . . . " the one to be used by him.

Before I went no contact, I would wonder the same thing. But Barbaras link below (about the other women) is bang on. I know because I too thought I was the one. And now reading that I realize I am the girl Im reading about. They will only find "the one", when they find that girl who will just live and play by there rules, even then she becomes boring and they move along. I too hurt, and Ive been 2 SOLID months no contact. To make myself feel better I wrote a list of things that I hate about him, this is the short version - lol lol, maybe you should do the same and carry it with you. When your sad pull out the list and remind yourself of what a god damn degenerate he is!!!!!!!! Just my 2cents...hope it helps. There is nothing to miss: obsessive phone calls only talks about himself no steady job no car no benefits no bank account sleeps all day would smoke weed all day if he could sleeps with anything, and says he would sleep with any one who wanted to (as thats cool?) lies. lies lies. parties with BIG losers, who he apparently hates no friends family depises him - they actually say his son is his bodyguard, because if he didnt have him, they would never see him and be thankful for that lazy never sure if he's going to say something embarrasing and disrespectful thinks everyone should play by his rules

I heard the exact same words! When the narc left me for his new supply, he said "she was the one!" I was sooo jealous. She only had two kids with her part time (& we had three). My mind was going wild. I thought here he & I never could even finish a sentence without an interuption from the kids & now they have all this "alone time", probably out dancing or just cuddling on the couch...NOT!!! After his new gf got tired of his sorry ass (within months!), she contacted me. She assured me it was nothing like I imagined it to be. He quickly showed his true colors to her. The anger, jealousy, withholding sex (he would rather whack off!). And she was suppose to be the "One"??! She dumped him in May, by June he had a new gf...guess what???! He says "She's the One!"... They are stupid idiots Nyc, there is no "one" woman that's going to make them happy! They can't get happy! They are the ones with the issues! Not any of us ladies! We just simply wanted to love them, that's all! They are all f****n idiots! All of our bozos sound the same..."Same shit, different smell!"

but what also is true is that "if you gave 100% then you know it wasn't you".. I have been in two 'serious relationships'. One for about 17 years and the other for two and a half years. In my 17 year realtionship that ended (and we have a daughter together) I can look back now and know it was BOTH of us and we had poor communication skills which is why it didn't work. I know that person loved me. I know what I did to add to the turmoil of the realtionship, even if at the time I couldn't see it was also my irrational reactions and enraged emotions that caused the circle where nothing was fixed. With my 2.5 year relationship with my N, it is opposite. I now know he never 'loved' me. I was a perfect superwoman (a.k.a. doormat). I was at his every beck and call, every whim, every desire. Even if it seemed improbable, I found a way to make it happen. At first, of course, his charm and affection was at 1000% to secure me. I confused this with love. In some other post I can delve into specifics but for now I just want to comment that I KNOW beyond a shadow of doubt I gave 100% to the N. I know it is not me, it really IS him... And I can see it with my N's previous relationships, they were all different people but all of them did whatever they could to make the N happy...and it would be THEIR fault if they were hurt or upset or wanted answers from a lying and cheating N. My N has a new "The One".....until the next 'The One' comes along....

not matter what they "SAY" (they are always lying) there is no "ONE" for a Narcissist. Ever. They are not human. Read this, print it out and stick it where you will read it multiple times a day: http://www.lisaescott.com/2009/12/03/other-woman-now-hes-happy-her YOU deserve a real person... not a soul sucking piece of fly dung like him. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

each and every one to the Narc is 'the one'..until you cross him...or until he drains you dry... everyone to a Narc is just an object...they don't really care about anyone except themselves....the next 'the one' will be davalued and discarded too...and the next 'one'....and the next 'one'..... the are just big black holes...sucking in anyone they get near...but nothing ever fills them up.... they are incapable of having any sort of real relationship...they are simply parasites looking for a 'host'.... they love no one...they care about no one...he is the one who is flawed....what he considered your 'flaw' is that you are human...and were sick of being objectified...and that would be considered a 'flaw' only to a Narc.......

It's hard because we all want to feel like our presence in someone's life mean something, no matter who they are. I mean, everyone who is ivolved in our lives means something to us, even if its the doorman at work who smiles and says "good morning" to us every day. The doorman smiling and saying "good morning" just starts your day off with pleasant thoughts. So of course we want to mean something to everyone the way they mean something to us. But we all know the only way someone means anything to a narc is if they can be of use to him. For the narc to be happy with that doorman, for instance, the doorman would have to step it up as time goes on. Eventually he would have to carry the narc's briefcase. A while after that, he would have to push the elevator button, and so on until he was going all the way to the narc's desk and pulling out his chair for him. In order to do this, the doorman would be neglecting everyone else who works in that building for the benefit of the narc. We all know that the doorman would have to keep stepping it up to keep making the narc happy, yet he would always be expected to do more. That's the way it was with us, and that's the way it will be for anyone in the narc's life. They need to keep stepping it up until there is absolutely nothing left of them. So the N is not going to find someone else who will be "The One." That's impossible. Think about all you gave and what you received in return. I'd be surprised if there was anything more you could have done. Yet, it was never enough, was it. If you can look back and know you gave 100% in the relationship, then you know it wasn't you. It was never you. Hold your head high, don't obsess about him finding "The One". He will never find her. No one will ever be good enough for him.