Submit Bitch!

When I first met him, he loved that I was a strong, independent woman. We dated six months, before we committed to a relationship. I swear, the second we became a "couple", it was like a switch was flipped and he became controlling, telling me how I should behave and what I could and couldn't do. Strangest thing I ever witnessed. I thought it was funny and kind of cute, at first. Boy, was I ever wrong to think any of it was cute!

We got along great, for the most part, and he was madly in love with me (or so I thought). He described our relationship as "Total Bliss". He would tell anyone and everyone who he talked to that he loved me and I was the best thing that ever happened to him... blah blah... But....the second I disagreed with him, on anything, or I gave attention to anyone but him, shit would hit the fan! He was either on a high, or low... nothing in between. I started to think that maybe it was me, since he told me all the time it was... One thing he used to yell at me was, "submit bitch!" WTF!!! I told him I'm not a fucking dog, I'm your girlfriend! Soooo, I did what any victim, in denial would do, I looked the word up. I was taken to a sight called "The feminine woman." I read and read and really tried to change myself. I tried to remain calm, let him be the man, tend to his every need. I was walking on eggshells, from the time I woke up, till the time I went to bed.

Let me tell you... That was the worst few months of my life! I completely lost myself. I was no longer that strong, independent woman, that captured his attention. My friends would comment about how I didn't seem to have fun any more, like at BBQs and get together's. I was always so afraid that I would make a fool of myself (his words), so I just kinda smiled and nodded most of the time. That was not me! Not me at all! I'm the life of the party dammit!!! I sing and dance to music or no music. I laugh loud, I talk a lot, I act a fool (yes), but my friends love me for all of that. And, when I decided that he would no longer control MY behavior, who I talk to, where I can hang out, what I can wear, when I can apply my make-up, etc... I was no longer submitting, I was no longer his bitch... I'm not fucking June Clever! I'm ME! I work hard and I'm going to play hard too! NO ONE has EVER controlled me, EVER! So, after 2.5 years of this emotionally torture, I told him to leave... And he left... He did not fight me on it. He didn't beg for a 100th chance... He didn't tell me he couldn't live without me and I was the best thing that ever happened to him... Know what he did??? He moved out and right in to OWs house.