sad love letter!
sad love letter!
"I wrote this letter but I never sent it to him and never will because there is no point. Oviously he can't understand it like most narcs. I have it on my facebook though."
There is alot of things I wish I can say to you but its not possible. Everytime I talk to you to explain feels like im talking to a wall. You will never understand me. I can never understand you either because there is no proper communication. I've noticed you always run from problems instead of facing them. It disguists me that you cannot see the actual people that care about you. I am sorry that i hurt you but i thought you got over that. It was a long time ago, just once. You shouldn't be coming my way if you can't let go of the past. I will defenitely not keep repeating myself or apologizing or let you use that against me so you can hurt me again on purpose.
When i promise something I keep my word. How many times have you promised then break it?. I always knew you couldn't handle the truth from me. you have no idea those months that I didn't hear from you were the hardest in my life but I had to learn to cope and heal. Then you appear on and off as usual promising me you wouldn't hurt me again because your crazy about me? sweetheart you have no idea how it feels to be crazy about someone. Stupid me, I thought you meant it that you wanted me. Please think things through before you say it. I have to hand it to you though, your very great at pushing people away.
Best part is that I told you I cried every night and couldn't sleep because I was pushed away & hurt. You took it all as a joke. I wish you can see me fall apart in tears maybe then you would believe me. Its been a year since it all happened and I cant believe I still havent moved on yet. I prayed every night to get over you, to heal & meet someone else. I guess when you love someone you cant get over it. You dont want to come near me because you dont want to get hurt. I feel the same way, Im not going to let you near me either & get hurt. Everything ive done for you isnt appreciated. You made me the happiest woman ever on earth, was lucky to have you. I am grateful for everything you have done for me, remember that. You make me feel like im not good enough but some day I will be hopefully to someone else.
You knew I would have done anything for you. All you had to do was call me I would be their. Not as a back up girl when you have no other woman. I always had these plans how it would have been amazing for us to go to places together like Niagara Falls or Blue Mountain for a romantic getaway in a beautiful hotel. Canadas wonderland on crazy rides. Walk on the beach holding hands. There is alot I would have done even if it meant taking a bullet for you. I wish there was a way I could show you to trust me.
You can't be surprised if I still love you even for so many years. I just keep getting this feeling you hate me. Sorry if i was a waste to you. Not going to try & talk to fix this. I will let this go. I dont force people to be with me. I hope you take care of yourself, wish you the best. I hope you find a "good woman" who loves you but i cant promise they will as much as i do. If they do be careful you dont push them away. Hopefully one day we can be friends because you are an awesome guy, but right now its very difficult. Maybe we will be together again in heaven or another lifetime if not here.
p.s- i dont think this is fake bullshit if it takes someone hours or days to get this together.