Panic

I have been driven by panic and anxiety so much lately that now I am in a fog. It has come to a point where I don’t even think about the Narc because of the fear that I manifest in my own head. For example, I have been taking prescribed Xanax for the past 5 months and just put myself through a tizzy by researching the side effects, and withdrawal symptoms which are seizures, disorientation, anxiety, etc… that I have caused myself panic. And this is where the issue is… I have been here before, I have taken meds before, I have had GAD before, panic disorder before… and it’s all coming back because I never fully worked it out, and healed. This time around I am going to stick to therapy, be grateful for the support I have, and finalllllly heal. I started having panic attacks in 2005 out of the blue, when I thought things were going well. I think with the Narc experience and getting my masters in teaching my stress levels have reached a boiling point, but I will make it through this. I am tired living this way, which has been all my life. This has nothing to do with Narc, and everything to do with me, and my own deep rooted issues. I just wanted to post this because I am going through a real rough spot, and my thoughts aren’t focused on him anymore… I am depressed and full of anxiety, and I just want to make it through my student teaching till mid-April.