two things I regret
two things I regret
I'll start giving a short overview of my experience with the narc, since I have not posted my full story yet:
We met online, he lived in America, but came to Europe to visit me in two occasions. He told me so many lies - from faking cancer to lying about being married, lying about his job, his degree, his whereabouts, his achievements, falsely accusing others of stealing money from him - so many lies that I'm not exaggerating when I say that the only thing I know was true for sure was his name and his age -because I saw his passport-. The rest was just full of inconsistencies, even the things I found out playing detective led to only more questions which remained unanswered.
9 months ago, when he was here, we had a small fight over something silly: I wanted to go home, he wanted me to stay. I got afraid because while trying to force me to stay he accidentally hurt my breast by pulling me, he apologized. When I got home, I sent him a message: "it's better we don't see nor talk to each other for a while". After this, I slowly started learning about PDs and decided I'd never talk to him again as adviced everywhere. I had not talked to him for several weeks, so I decided I would not contact him again to tell him I would not contact him otherwise I would have to start from zero again.
But two things have been bothering me since then:
1. not explaining why I was leaving, that he disrespected my boundaries and lied to me too many times. That he was given a chance to be my friend and he screw it up by trying to get more from me. I had stopped confronting him about the lies, because the few times I did, he denied everything, got mad at me or called me a liar. I knew it was pointless to confront him without irrefutable proof and I was never able to find enough, sometimes his stories just didn't add up. This gave him a good reason to call me heartless and cold for leaving without an explanation and make him look like a victim or like he didn't do anything wrong.
2. saying "for a while" instead of ”never again", which suggested it was not final, but back then I didn't know what a narc was, nor was I convinced I would be strong enough to stay NC forever. This again gave him an excuse to contact me and say "You said just for a while, are you ready for a chat now?"
I feel like if I had told him I wanted NC forever and explained why, he would've just moved on to his next victim instead of moving to my town and hoovering me ever since. He sent a message last week from a new number, saying he's in my city, got very sick and wish I was there for him. I blocked that number too and I'm changing mine, I ordered a new simcard and I hope it's delivered on Monday.
I feel I made a mistake and let the door open for him to contact me and say "hey, I didn't do anythinig wrong, why are you not answering?" or "hey, I didn't know you didn't want me to contact you, you never said you didn't want me to contact you ever again"
You're all right, he probably
Your actions will speak
Mina
Mina
Mina
I agree with