Was I the NARC???

I have posted something similar to this before, but I feel that it needs revisiting...and I personally could use some support and thoughts on this...

In your quest to understand Narcissism and heal from these relationships, did you often worry that perhaps you yourself may have been the narc?

When i read the criteria for Narcissism, I can see traits that I have seen in myself, especially when I was with my ex. I was jealous, needy, controlling, selfish, etc...

The one area that I do not fit the criteria in is compassion. I am a very compassionate person...is that perhaps why I feel I may have been a narcissist?

I know we all have these traits to some extent, and I know that I have a history of blaming myself for everything including my ex leaving me.

I just wonder if this is a normal part in the healing...looking back at our part and seeing these traits in ourselves.

Anyone else struggle with this???