Projecting much???

I'm unsure if my recent emotional episodes have to do with the fact that I ran out of Cymbalta (switched from Lexapro because I began weaning from them & they were SO costly!)or anxiety from my daughter starting school (separation anxiety?)

I've been trying to maintain a calm attitude & not allow the small irritants 'set me off'. I was already a tad anxious. My 22 y/o is driving me NUCKIN' FUTS!!! He's become SO obnoxiously rude & disrespectful. (NOTE: I'm a petite thing & because of my sharp tongue, I'm seldom underestimated. I will VERBALLY assault w/out using profanity). But he's asking for me to break his 6'2" stature down to my height.

He became increasing irritated the other day because I powered down my phone & he was trying to contact me. Now, this is the same kid who doesn't respond to my texts or answer my calls. When I explained that I owe him nothing & now he knows how it feels, he proceeded to tell me how his dad & I are both 'bums' (I've ALWAYS been employed & since marrying a Narc, moving away, leaving Narc & starting over...I've found no job YET! It's damn sure, not for looking!) But his tangent went on about how I have nothing & wonder why the other females around me are prospering, etc. That I don't listen to anyone. Who the hell am I suppose to be listening to? He also kept referring to me as 'Little Girl'. The ordeal was absolutely mind-boggling...UNTIL, I remembered that the XNH used to (try to) project what he was feeling ABOUT HIMSELF onto ME!

Complaints of me never being satisfied w/anything. Huh? WTF?! I sacrificed for both the Narc (who is not my son's dad) & for my son (whose dad is a little 'off'). My son recently was terminated from his job (probably was too 'high' - weed smoker like his dad). Stopped going to the local Jr. College. Hangs out w/quite an unsavory unemployed group of degenerates. All that he spew wreaked of his own self-hatred. I've written his resume, and tell him when I see job openings. No motivation. When I ask him his goals - he flips it & asks what are mine (I have many. Shall I start w/slapping that taste from your mouth?!). He says I'm doing no better than he is. THAT HURTS!

I'm nowhere near where I want to be in life & starting over sucks MAJORLY, but I didn't let the Narc break me & I'll be damned if this INGRATE that I birthed over 2 decades ago is going to question MY life let alone disrupt/interfere in it! Not sure who the hell he THINKS he is but I made it perfectly clear than I know his behavioral pattern & his type of 'conditional' love (from being Narc'd enough)...and I can do WITHOUT it. Offspring or otherwise! #ToughLove

Sorry so lengthy. Needed to vent! Getting a Rx refill on Thursday...if I make it that long. Ugh. #MySonReallySucksRightNow

-NNZ

p.s. Daughter's 1st day of school was great. They couldn't believe she's 3 & so knowledgeable already. I'm thankful for the time I got in w/her. #NowTimeToGetBackToWork =/