Question about codependency

Ok, so after being on this site and reading different stories and so on, I started to wonder what it was about me that needed changing or fixing or just examining. So I bought a book called "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie and started reading. I can honestly say that I WAS codependent for the longest time but at some point in my life, (late 20s ish) I realized that my problems are mine and other people's problems are theirs and I can't fix anyone's problems but my own and I had made some major changes to how I dealt with others and their problems. I would empathize but I made it a point to NEVER get involved because I knew in the end, the problems weren't mine to fix. I also stopped blaming others for my problems as well after this "epiphany" And I spent many years being criticized often by people who thought I "should have done more", "could do more" and asking why I "didn't do more" to which I always responded, I can't live that person's life for them, they have to "work it out" and I firmly believed this although to some it made me appear "cold".

Anyway, I guess after reading the first few chapters I noticed a couple of things. The first thing I noticed was that my X had a LOT of the characteristics of people with codependency. Am I mistaken? I mean, can people with PDs also be codependent? The next thing I noticed is that even tho I exhibited several of the codependent characteristics (during the relationship and maybe a few still since the D&D) MOST of these characteristics were GONE from my life years ago............so my question really is this, can being with a disordered person CAUSE codependency to resurface?

I'm kind of mind blown right now because I can say that my ex and I fought about certain things, and ONE of those things was "boundaries" because I felt that his ex was too "involved" in our lives, my ex's family's life and I asked could he PLEASE just set up boundaries because I was feeling very uncomfortable by her constant presence in our lives. What caused us to fight was that HE would say that I "need to help him", that he "needed my support because he couldn't do it alone" and I would always tell him that I "can offer support in how he goes about it but that I can't DO it for him because the bottom line was that she was his problem to deal with and NOT mine". I had problems with my son's dad right after we split up and I handled that myself because it was MY problem to deal with. Now when I was with my ex, and he was "making an effort" to set up boundaries with the ex, the things he did weren't working, mostly because he did just enough to shut me up (he was a pro at putting band aids on bulletwounds) and I really don't think he wanted to get her totally out of his life anyway. I never told him he "needed to do this or that" but I did tell him what worked for me when I was having "issues" with my ex and just left it at that. Of course, it never was resolved but to ask HIM, he "did everything and all alone without any help from me".

Another thing we fought about was my oldest son. When he was 18 he had gotten himself into a little legal trouble. It wasn't anything he couldn't handle but I explained to him that if he chose to not follow the rules, he could be thrown in jail. Well the kid didn't wanna follow rules and did end up in jail, my ex would BLAME ME saying I was a bad parent and should have done this or that or MORE because it was my kid and I stayed firm in my belief and expressed to my ex that I loved my kid, but I was not the one that put my kid in jail, he was. Therefor I didn't feel bad about it.

So I think I carried a LOT of the "I can't fix anyone else's problems" mentality into the relationship whereas my ex was the KING of fixing everyone else's problems. But as my time with him progressed, and his "shit attempts" to set boundaries with the ex failed to produce results, I became more and more frustrated and disappointed and it DID start turning into me saying, "you HAVE to do this or that to fix this problem" just because after 18 months of me begging and pleading with him to DO something about his problem, and his "attempts" always fell flat then were followed with excuses why he "can't". I was so frustrated and agitated with what was going on within the relationship, before knowing what I know now about PDs, that I just wanted the OUTSIDE irritants to cease because I thought that eliminating the outside stressors would eliminate some of the inner stress if that makes sense. I also believe the isolation, intimidation, lying, CD and constant emotional abuse contributed to the codependent tendencies that had resurfaced in me because I seriously lost myself and became "obsessed" with HIM because really, I had no one else.

Anyway, for as long as this was the question really was could being with a "disordered" person have caused my long locked away codependency to come bubbling back to the surface?

I would appreciate the input.