Help me change my thought patterns
Help me change my thought patterns
I really thought I had learned my lesson so well that I'd never be interested in an asshole ever again. I've rejected a list full of random assholes and have been pleasantly surprised by the fact that they turned me off. It made me believe that I was permanently cured from being attracted to this types of men. My self esteem felt good. There was a guy at work that I became interested in. This was a few months ago. However, I saw lots of red flags so I managed to send him down the reject line. I'm now noticing a problem. He's affecting me, triggering me in some way. I'm not getting that great automatic instant turn off thing. I find myself attempting to drift into malignant optimism and almost allow myself to like him. At the end of the day I still come to " stay away he's bad news " but it's an intellectual. I want it to be an a utomatic yuck, not a u are dangerous I have to yuck you. Does anyone get what I'm saying? Why don't I get an automatic turnoff from him anymore? What has changed? I don't want dissing n's to be requiring rationalizing effort. I just want to be disgusted like I was for a while in the beginning.
So it goes deeper. I was scard by my n father rejecting me for permiscuis woman who took all his time. This guy has been doing the same since I rejected him. Now here's the problem... It hurts me.
No I do not want this man , he's so no good and my head knows better. I've kept him away very well. So here's the thing, ok I know why he triggers me cause he reminds me of my rejecting father. How do I stop that feeling? How do I stop from feeling jealous when he talks to other woman, and when I realize little incidents where he's tried to play me. It hurts me and I recognize this hurt he somehow causes me is not desire for him nor is it love, lust or attraction... It's emotional pain.
So long story short how do I make my psychological rejection of him easier, more automatic ? I though I was cured but this fucker is having an effect :(
anybody get what I'm getting at?
I want him to just be a potato on an assembly line, but that's not happening efficiently or automatically.
What do I do here? Thoughts , exercises, shifts in perception?
Subconscious
This was a very helpful post.
Thanks
Hi WOS
Hey s&a yes I've been
Will Power for Won't Power
Hi Portia, I already know
Walkingonsunshine
You are worthy and deserved
Just thinking some more about
Potatoes.