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Wanting to Push 'Rewind'

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#1 Feb 5 - 2PM
lucky
lucky's picture

Wanting to Push 'Rewind'

I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar...

Ever since the N experience I had last year (after he discarded me when he couldn't manipulate me anymore) I have had this overwhelming feeling of wishing I could go back in time a few to several years, and also really missing when my kids were younger! They are young teenagers now, and it's not like life was easy then either but somehow I just feel that I would be doing better if both me and my kids were younger. I am wishing I could push rewind on my life, and it's overwhelming at times. I guess I'm having regrets.

I have started counseling and will probably talk about this as well as my feeling lonely and not having nearly as much hope and expectation about my future and meeting someone wonderful. I was feeling on top of the world about LOTS of things at the time that I first connected with this N guy. My self esteem was very high!

I have noted that I DID NOT feel these negative things until after this guy. And I had an ex-Husband who was a horribly abusive Psychopath. But I never felt any of these things... I was just glad to be away from him!

I don't even know for sure if this sadness, loneliness, loss of hope and positive outlook is to do with my experience with this N, or if it's more to do with having dated so many ppl in the last 10 years who don't measure up to my expectations. I know it's very important to NOT lower your standards. But it's unbelievable how many men do not even come close! Honestly, aside from the losers, abusers, and users, there are men who are not really date worthy because they are not together emotionally, financially, etc. What is happening to our world? I know it's not just my experience!

Anyone?

Feb 6 - 7AM
4joys4
4joys4's picture

I understand how you feel.

I understand how you feel. I'm feeling the same way. I felt very good about myself before this experience. I was very confident and at peace. I wasn't looking for a relationship. It kinda dropped in my lap. Totally unexpected. I was at peace in myself. Life wasn't perfect but I was ok. Now, after this, I am more aware of selfish people and I see and experience them everywhere. I hear other women telling me their experiences too and I wonder...Are all men like this? I dont know any who are not. I am not looking for this fantasy I once held about relationships. In that realization I feel awake, yet lonely also.
Feb 5 - 3PM
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Lucky

I kno how u feel about wishing to rewind the time. My boys are young teenagers too & I wasted soo much time trying to make the loser happy (or sitting at home while he was supposively working), time just slipped away! I was much younger & it was just me & my two boys. Life was so much easier then... Now I'm much older, i have three kids now (a high maintenance daughter with him), and life is not easy. All he did was complicate my life, let down me & my kids & left! I wish he'd fall off the face of the earth!
Feb 5 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
lucky
lucky's picture

Our time is precious

Yeah... I'm guessing pretty much everyone here feels regrets that the LOSER in their life got any of their PRECIOUS time! They didn't deserve it, any of it! And of course all of us, I'm sure, would have never given it, had we the ability to see into the future and see what he/she was really like! I guess that is why the feeling of wanting to push rewind happens, BUT to go back with the knowledge we have now! Reminds me of an old Jackson Browne song, the lyrics go.. "And while the future's there for anyone to change, still you know it seems, It would be easier sometimes to change the past."
Feb 5 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
rache
rache's picture

Time

I regret the time i wasted on the diabolical freak.Thats why i want to get through this,as,any time wasted on him even in thought gives him a little of my power,and,i definitely do not want to do that
Feb 5 - 5PM (Reply to #3)
fairy wings
fairy wings's picture

No regrets

I have no regrets. You cannot go back, so why waste time thinking about it with rose tinted spectacles? I'm 55 and I agree life goes by very quickly all the more reason to enjoy every minute you have left. If you are saying now you wasted time on him why waste another second. Do you want to let him rob you of even more time? Simple really and the choice is yours. Of course I'd love my life all over again with the knowledge I have now, but that is not possible, its never going to happen. I have wonderful memories of my children when they were small and I love them to bits aged 26 and 29. All we have is the present moment - I read this somewhere and I love it, 'It's called the present because it's a gift'. Don't waste it thinking what could have been. The secret here is to learn how to block this spiral of thoughts. Notice when you start to do it and say, 'stop, not going there', or just get up and do something else. As for meeting someone wonderful lucky - look in the mirror, you already have!
Feb 5 - 5PM (Reply to #4)
lucky
lucky's picture

beautiful :)

That is so beautiful, brought tears to my eyes... each and everyone here is a King or Queen, can look in the mirror and say hello to 'someone wonderful'! I can also count blessings, and that's my next post :D
Feb 5 - 6PM (Reply to #5)
fairy wings
fairy wings's picture

Wonderful friends

I count my blessings I have wonderful friends here. I'm glad my post helped. We all help each other and that is what is so great. Thankyou.