Anxiety avoidance - bad?

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#1 Sep 7 - 6AM
greenbean
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Anxiety avoidance - bad?

Hi all,

I was here back in May and June, but left the site because I felt like I needed to spend less time thinking about my ex.

It's been 5 months since we broke up, and I'm feeling better, stronger. Even happy sometimes. I've gone on a few dates though they didn't pan out. (And... I attracted another narc! Ha! I smelled the crazy and was able to avoid him though--that felt good!)

So, I have a question. My therapist says that I am avoiding anxiety by avoiding him. I've been NC for all 5 months. That's been good. However, we are both in a social scene together, and I've been avoiding nights when he goes out. I feel anxiety and fear when I think about seeing him (or god forbid, dancing with him).

She thinks maybe I should test putting myself in the position to see him out socially, and face my fears.

I decided to quit the scene we are both in (social dancing). Truthfully, only part of it is because of him. Part of me is just done with the clique-y social dance scene anyway.

Although I'm over the relationship logically, in my mind, I still have some sort of emotional attachment to it that is still causing me anxiety.

I guess my question is... is it ok if I try to never see or speak to him again? Or should I try to face my fears? It makes me sick to think about seeing him again. I don't want to be a coward though. I just want to get over this situation and move on with my life.

Sep 7 - 12PM
round3
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I got 2 cents on testing waters

Sep 7 - 5PM (Reply to #16)
greenbean
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Ugh, the gut wrench. I know

Sep 7 - 11AM
greenbean
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Thanks everyone. You are all

Sep 7 - 1PM (Reply to #13)
MeeMee72
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anxiety

Sep 7 - 5PM (Reply to #14)
greenbean
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Hi MM, I'm so glad it was

Sep 7 - 11AM
MeeMee72
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I can relate

Sep 7 - 11AM (Reply to #11)
greenbean
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Thanks MM. Why bother with

Sep 7 - 9AM
GracefullyFree
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Testing Waters

Sep 7 - 5PM (Reply to #9)
greenbean
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"I don't think seeing him is

Sep 7 - 8AM
TruthbeginsToday
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Greenbean, A traumatic

Sep 7 - 7AM
talktothehand
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Avoidance

Sep 7 - 7AM
Used
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greengirl

Sep 7 - 9PM (Reply to #5)
IncognitoBurrito
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I agree

Sep 7 - 7AM (Reply to #2)
spinning
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I agree with Used completely,

spinning

Sep 7 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
greenbean
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Thanks spinning. It has felt

Sep 7 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
Done sourcing
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I believe the tricky part is