Struggling with NC? A powerful observation...

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#1 Aug 31 - 1PM
spinning
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Struggling with NC? A powerful observation...

A powerful observation from new member cassia, who posted this in a conversation with another member a few days back.

“Some people never get out. My stepmother (my father is a virulent N) never got out. She now looks, and acts, like she was just recently exhumed. Staying with a N will do that to you....”
---cassia

*******************

As one who had this same look about her for almost six years, the poignancy and truth of cassia’s observation hit home.

Each day that goes by we are inching toward the aging process, whether we like it or not. We moan about all we’ve sacrificed for the disordered one, and along with the graveyard-dead feeling, we sacrifice our appearance, our glow, our spark, our unique beauty every minute we stay in the dance.

This is what the world sees. This is what we become if we stay. Exhumed. Perfect strangers, business acquaintances frequenlty asked me if I was okay. By the time it was almost over, the reflection I saw in the mirror was that of an old woman; beaten down, weak. Pasty. Ghostly. Disconnected. Half-dead.

As we speak there are members struggling with the decision to go no contact. Struggling to block; to delete; to de-activate FB, to retire from the dance floor.

If you want to sacrifice more time, more energy, more of what’s left of yourself and your sanity, keep the lines open. The masked man/woman fantasy that you’re clinging to will take what’s left, grind it down some more, bury you, and exhume you again. They are vultures, who feast on the carnage and then pick at the bones.

Love,
(not) spinning. BECAUSE I'M ON THE PATH FORWARD NOW AND ALWAYS

Just ask cassia...

Dec 20 - 10AM
Abigail
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LOL to tears...

Oct 27 - 5PM
Tired of going back
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I to feel older and I don't

Oct 27 - 6PM (Reply to #49)
ItsFinallytime
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When I first got here I was

Oct 27 - 7PM (Reply to #50)
Janie53
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IFT

Oct 27 - 9AM
Dee30
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Exactly!

Oct 23 - 1AM
Bhappy
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YES! My narc liked me because

Oct 23 - 1AM (Reply to #46)
Bhappy
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I also forgot to mention he

Oct 22 - 1PM
spinning
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Bumping to remind all

spinning

Sep 14 - 5PM
aceonelady
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Spinning....true

Aceonelady

Sep 3 - 11AM
GracefullyFree
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Dead Women, Stress & Wrinkles

Sep 14 - 5PM (Reply to #42)
Im_always_fine
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"That MOTHER F#CKER!!" LMAO!

Sep 3 - 11AM (Reply to #39)
Jenna H
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Gray hair and laughing at you Grace

Sep 3 - 11AM (Reply to #40)
GracefullyFree
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Short short line Jenna

Sep 3 - 11AM (Reply to #41)
Jenna H
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short short line

Sep 1 - 11AM
juliacatherine
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dead woman walking

Sep 2 - 8PM (Reply to #36)
neverlookback
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I am WAY TO GOOD and SPECIAL

Sep 3 - 5AM (Reply to #37)
Jenna H
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YES NLB!!! YOU ARE FIRED UP!

Sep 1 - 12PM (Reply to #34)
Jenna H
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NICE Juliacatherine!!!

Sep 1 - 1PM (Reply to #35)
juliacatherine
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Hey Jenna :)

Sep 1 - 9AM
onwithmylife
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so true

Sep 1 - 8AM
no more an echo
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that 'shell-shocked' look

Aug 31 - 7PM
NeverEverAgain
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So very true

Aug 31 - 6PM
rosedewittbukater
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So right you are

Aug 31 - 6PM
kollontai77
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a very sick year

Sep 14 - 6PM (Reply to #28)
kollontai77
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more sick

Sep 14 - 9AM (Reply to #27)
MeeMee72
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interesting thread

Aug 31 - 9PM (Reply to #21)
Radiolady
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YES!

Sep 3 - 5AM (Reply to #23)
Jenna H
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sickness

Sep 3 - 8AM (Reply to #24)
Radiolady
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sickness

Sep 3 - 10AM (Reply to #25)
Jenna H
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they are a disease in more ways than one