Missing what was

I'm having a missing what was day.

I'm not going to contact him.... I know who he is. He's evil.

Just having one of those days where I miss how unbelievably awesome things were at the start.....
It still mind baffles me that it was all an act.... It all seemed so real.

I tried and tried and tried for soooo long to replicate those awesome times.
Just feel Stupid now that I realize he never gave a shit that things didn't go back to that.

Just thinking back to about a month before the final d and d......

We ended up going to a beach for a swim ... It happened to be the same beach that we went I on one of our first dates together .... I was reminiscing an said 'oh u remember that night when we were here and we spent hours kissing and I was cold so u have me your jacket??'
He response ... It wasn't this beach it was the other one.
I said no it was definately this one .... Remember we were here...
Him..... No I don't remember.
Then he had a go at me for cracking the shits cause he didn't remember ... He actually yelled at me. That was definately one of the defining moments that made me realize that he wasn't normal. Here was I trying to reminisce a special moment that was shared between us and he completely missed the point and used it as a chance to devalue. A normal person would of remembered with me.

Sad creatures really...
Sorry I'm rambling....

Maybe it's not him I'm missing it's special times with someone.....