Accepting Compliments

I have read a few really positive posts on here of late, some great recovery stories, it's so inspiring.

I too am finally getting there...it's such a great feeling to enjoy whole days! Wow, a whole day without feeling one bit of pain! Not consecutive days yet but baby steps!

The one thing I am struggling with is accepting compliments. Of late, I have had a few, whether it has been via work, or personally. Whether it is about something I have done or the way I look or how happy I am (how amazing to have someone make a comment about that??!!). I just find it really hard to accept that they are meant the way they are. Trotters used so many in the beginning of our relationship and I can recognise that the way I am now feeling is a hang up from that. But I still have that slight niggling doubt that I am not worthy of the compliment. Because that was how he left me feeling, totally unworthy, totally nothing.

I am having to retrain myself to accept these things when they are given, to acknowledge them and leave it at that, not to over analyse too much and just go with the flow but it makes me uncomfortable, I squirm almost! I am not used to accepting flattery as a real and genuine comment! I am now used to it being totally meaningless. BASTARD TROTTERS! It's like he still manages to lick the good stuff in my life with his fork-tongued venom even after 7 months and I haven't even spoken to the shit. It's like that after garlic taste in your mouth the morning after an italian meal. Was great at the time but 7 hours on it tastes like shit!