Control?Hell on earth!

I'm having a real outta body experience. Everything in my mind tells me run the other direction, that I don't want him. And in my heart I can't want him anymore. He is turning the kids against me, our oldest (his son that I potty trained & will graduate high school next year) and our baby girl (we used to be so close, but somehow I got role as discipline while he got to do nothing but buy her candy whenever she wanted it). He has taken them to the movies 4 times in the last 2 weeks & pulls them into every arguement by saying WE are tired of u, WE don't want u here. Well now that I said I'm done, which I realize I was grieving losing a son before & there is nothing I can do about it because as my N says in every fight he's not yours; my N is playing my baby girl. He says she's old enough to choose where she wants to go & I think you'll be surprised who she'll choose. Well of course, now I'm worried because what has he said to her, how could I not see he was manipulating them too, what if she does choose him...she is my heart I will not want to breathe without her, I thought we had an ultimate bond. When I was pregnant with her I used to sing you light up my life, when she was about 1 she was playing & started humming the melody of the song I sang to her in my womb. It was amazing, she is the most wonderful person I know, she is the reason I haven't been found hanging from a tree. So now he wants her, where was he for 14 years aside from a few fun things here or there. I am so afraid, how can I take control & lose It right back. I was so proud to finally be able to say I'm done, to now thinking I gotta start begging again. I am in hell, this has to be hell on earth!