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Court date

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#1 May 14 - 2PM
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

Court date

Court date has been changed for different reasons, but lawyer totally gets what I am up against. H contacted her by email last night telling her he doesn't want divorce, but can't give up girlfriend.

He sent text to me, and voice mail, and vaoice mail to my mom that he wants to take me and the kids away on a trip next weekend! I will not respond. Just forwarded it lawyer.

May 16 - 9AM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

these crazy communications

these crazy communications are good for your side. Your lawyer must be happy. Just keep your distance. They have a fear of abandonment that is over the top and they also do not like their 'reputation' tainted so he doesn't want to go to court and be unmasked and have to have a formal child support agreement. It is all part of their craziness. the fact he admitted to the girlfriend and does not want to give her up is suggesting a quasi-polygamous realtionship and this is a real 'deal- breaker' when it comes to maintianing a marriage. It is called adultery and is grounds for divorce in every state. Just let him continue to 'help' you get the divorce. It is not normal to set terms and conditions in a marriage that involve another woman or to inform your lawyer that he is co-habitating with someone else. Any judge would see a mental health pattern here.
May 14 - 9PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

oy vey

Heaven only knows what he's telling the girlfriend. Once you are out of the equation - he will find yet another girl and cheat on the girlfriend. Because nothing ever WILL change on his side of the block! If your lawyer agrees he's sick - PUSH FOR THAT PSYCH EVAL AND SOLE CUSTODY WITH SUPERVISED VISITATION. The guy's a psychopath Mallory ---- waaaay beyond Narc. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 14 - 7PM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

unfreakingbelievable

mallory, I'm sorry, but I busted out laughing when I read the what he emailed your lawyer. He sure is making your lawyer's job easier! Glad she is realizing more of what she's dealing with. Was he told not to contact you directly anymore? I wasn't sure. But if he was, looks like he's ignoring that too. And he's moved on to working on your mom...great. What a piece of work this guy is.
May 16 - 2PM (Reply to #10)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Narcs & Infidelity

by Kathy Krajco Like psychopaths, narcissists are serial offenders, and this is because of the reason why they offend. It's an acting out of something they do for a high. So, for example, if they molest children, they will be serial offenders. Serial infidelity is another red flag of malignant narcissism. Why? Because serial infidelity isn't normal. It's just cattin' around. It is the narcissist's way of acting out that his or her marriage means nothing to them. They prove this in deed by risking that marriage for a lark, every chance they get. They're downright promiscuous. That's why serial infidelity is pathological, and normal infidelity is human. Normally, a person tempted to have sex with someone other than their spouse will first think of the risk to their marriage. If their marriage is valuable to them, they won't do it unless very greatly tempted (by genuine affection for the other) and while taking great care not to have anyone find out. That at least tells your wife or husband that you mean something to them. The serial tomcat is proving that his wife and their marriage mean nothing to him. He couldn't VALUE her or anything she does for him, you see. He must DEVALUE it. And what better way to do so? Again and again and again. It's a risk-taking high. If she knows, he gets to rub it in, just daring her to leave him. Grand him. And he is sure she can't live without grand him. She needs him, something he's got (his magic wand?) but he doesn't need her. A degrading value judgment. Which is why these kind like kinky sex, with the other party on their knees to his grandiosity. Not love. Just grandiosity to look down on others. So, don't let any simpletons confuse you about the difference between normal (and forgivable) infidelity and the serial infidelity of the malignant narcissist. It ain't the same thing at all, and no one with any self respect can put up with it. Not even the holier-than-thous who try to tell you that you should. http://narc-attack.blogspot.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 14 - 8PM (Reply to #4)
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

Yes, unfreakingbelievable

Yes, unfreakingbelievable. He told lawyer something like....I don't want divorce and I am trying to start a dialogue. He doesn't want to give up GF, until he knows him and I are a sure thing, and we can sweep this all under the rug, and move forward in a positive way. Lawyer thinks he is very sick, and wants to know what the heck is wrong with the GF? Anyway, feeling confident about lawyer. She gets it, and is not falling for the suave, smart exterior. Yes, the vacation plan was also unfreakingbelievable. You know, I am beginning to feel like the other woman in my marriage. He is sneaking behind her back to get together with me. Shows you how little he has grown, and how sick he really is. Nothing has changed on that side of the block, but a lot has changed on my side of the block.
May 14 - 9PM (Reply to #5)
grossot
grossot's picture

ha

Poor narc! He can't figure out whoseHIS maddonna and whose HIS whore! Malorie please promise us u r not ever letting him back in your life. I'm sorry your children have to tolerate this SOB. Go for the psych eval. I'm waiting to hear if the court is going to grant me a psych eval for my STBX SOB N! I will pray that u get the eval. nolongercontrolled

http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview

nolongercontrolled

May 16 - 11AM (Reply to #8)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Madonna Whore Complex

Mallory - Grossot hit the nail on the head: "He can't figure out who is his Madonna and who is his Whore!"
May 16 - 2PM (Reply to #9)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

wrong

On top of the fact....... he's thinking with the wrong head. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 14 - 10PM (Reply to #6)
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

grossot

No question. I am NEVER going to let him back into my life. I have no lingering questions or thoughts or desires. I have truly digested how sick this man is, and Barbara is right, once he understands that I am out of the equation, he will find another woman to replace GF. First, he will put her through hell so that she thinks, and he believes, it is her fault the relaionship didn't last. I am very sorry for all the children, hers and mine, that have been affected by him. Got another text. I know I should not read these, but lawyer wants me to read them and then send her the ones she feels are important. She doesn't want me to respond to them. Anyway, opened the latest. He told me that he is trying to be understanding of my distance, but doesn't feel that me taking such a moral high ground is beneficial. I have to understand that he needs to know that we can work out before he asks GF to move out. I need to give him a little room to talk and work on our issues. Did not respond. Forward to lawyer. Right now, I could use a little ...he said, he meant....just for the fun of it. No, don't worry. Not going back into this nightmare. Feeling strong, and no longer have the energy to put up with him. Don't care about GF, just moving ahead. Looking forward to proceedings. Looking forward to building the new life. Just trying to get through the next few months while the proccess is moving along.
May 15 - 6AM (Reply to #7)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

What He Said vs. What He Meant

He told me that he is trying to be understanding of my distance, but doesn't feel that me taking such a moral high ground is beneficial. I have to understand that he needs to know that we can work out before he asks GF to move out. He told me that he is trying to be understanding of my distance BECAUSE HE WANTS YOU TO STILL FEEL HIS WANDERING D*CK IS YOUR FAULT, but doesn't feel that me taking such a moral high ground is beneficial TO HIM AND HIS MANIPULATIONS. I have to understand that he needs to know that we can work out AND HE CAN CONTINUE HIS MIND F**KING AND TWISTING THINGS before he asks GF to move out TO SOMEWHERE NEARBY SO HE CAN STILL F**K HER WHEN HE FEELS LIKE IT. This idiot's a trip. He can bend the rules of society, send BAD & SICK messages to his children about behavior, mess with your head and the whole world is to bend around HIS NEEDS??? LOL!!! Mallory I hope you are keeping a journal/ diary and copying these texts, including time & date, into it. The PSYCH EVAL shrink is gonna LOOOOOOVE these. Do NOT pick up the phone for him... he's got too much wiggle room - but if he puts these psychopathic thoughts in writing? HE'S TOAST! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 14 - 7PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

What a colossal ***HAT!

The words I have for him really are inappropriate for a public forum he doesn't want divorce, but can't give up girlfriend TOO BAD SO SAD - he doesn't get to choose. That comment alone would have me DEMANDING a psych evaluation. And he made the stupid move of sending it, in writing, to your lawyer. Did you know email is LEGAL SERVICE!?!?!?! lol - can he be any more STOOOOOPID??? Get that book SPLITTING by William Eddy, Esq. about divorcing a narc and GET TOUGH. Next time he calls saying he can't make court - tell your lawyer you want to show up anyway - demand that she have the court hold him in CONTEMPT and get a BENCH WARRANT to compel him and an order to COMPEL him to give up his financials. And have the lawyer also put in that letter - no contacting your family, friends, coworkers, bosses, etc to get to you. This isn't a man - this is a 4 year old with the "gimmes" ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Cost-Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 14 - 7PM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

why Narcs are like toddlers

THE TODDLER'S RULES OF POSSESSION 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If it's in my hand, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If it's mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway. 6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine. 7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If it's broken, it's yours. sound FAMILIAR? ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/