Here we go Again

I am at least 3 months into this mess and here I go again with an un called for crying fit. I can barely get out of bed. The tears won't stop flowing. I have nowhere to go but here. I am filled with sadness and lonliness. I want this to stop. The abuse was almost better at least I got some attention. I hate being alone, I hate feeling sorry for myself.

What am I supposed to do. I go back to work on Tuesday, I'm not ready. I'm thinking stupid thoughts. I'm gaining weight for no reason. Hot mess. Help