Fear of sighting and avoidance
Fear of sighting and avoidance
Doing pretty well lately. Been doing a lot of "self-soothing" I guess it might be called. Been taking good care of myself, trying to eat better and get plenty of sleep and exercise when I feel like it.
Guess what has really been bothering me lately is fear of running into xN.
In particular an event is coming up where the liklihood of encountering xN is a pretty good possibility. But it is an event that I am looking forward to, and I will be with friends so I will have support. On one hand, I feel like Xn has already limited me so much this past year and hell with her I am not going to let her stop me from enjoying this!
On the other hand I am still really afraid of seeing her and what my reaction actually might be like. Maybe if I had a some kind of plan in place, as my therapist had suggested. Have maintained NC for almost one year. In 3 weeks I will celebrate that anniversary.
These thoughts and fears have been weighing on my mind and have been since the split. I am constantly avoiding places where there would be a chance of running into her. Often times I find myself wishing I could move to another state so that there would be NO CHANCE of this happening, but that just isn't an option for me right now. I have a good career and am close to retiring with my current employer. It would mean giving up a pension that I have worked my whole life for. I guess I am just thinking out loud here. But I wonder how others have handled this kind of thing in as far as encountering their abusers?
rose i hear you
Sadder I think you are right!
I understand the situation......
Facing fears
I am not sure.....