Anyone EVER wonder if YOU were the Narc?

So, I truly in my heart of hearts do NOT believe I am a Narcissist. I have empathy, feel guilt, heart break, and immense amounts of gratitude. I take responsibility for wrongs I have done...and still do, and do my best to mend fences with a sincere effort.

BUT..when I first started to do homework on what was happening in this past relationship some of the things stated were ME? For example...

Withdrawing from Sex. I would like to explain.
I was pregnant....uncomfortable, and working late nights...he worked days. I could only get comfy on the couch to sleep. Once I had Colin, the healing period...and then the sleepless nights....along with the verbal abuse which there was NEVER any remorse over. I couldn't bring myself to have sex with this man all the time, when he would verbally assault me in such a cruel, thoughtless manner. He told ME....I MADE HIM feel like a piece of shit by not sleeping with him.....and he felt worthless. MIND YOU...while I was pg I would ask him to please be patient with me...that it would get better. I would apologize etc....but he just kept stewing. I did feel bad.....and I tried to explain my stance and his reply was....if you would have sex with me, I wouldn't be like that. Sigh...

Financial ruins. I am, and have been in financial ruins for some time. I am going to be filing for bankruptcy, which I am not proud of....but I am 41 now, and my good intentions are not making it any better. My hands are tied. He DID pay all the household bills while I was there..which I appreciated, and made it KNOWN to him how much I did...and how badly I felt. BUT never failed that he'd tell me how much of a loser, freeloader, deadbeat I was when I upset him. I made sure that I took care of alllll of Colin's needs...formula, diapers, wipes, daycare, clothes etc so he didn't have to worry about it, because he DID take care of those things. I would leave him little notes thanking him for the random things he would do etc. without any acknowledgement on his part.

AM I one of them??? No, I don't believe I am, but I have wondered from time to time.